JB with HJ!

Took half day leave today to go JB with Huijuan to do nails.
LOL didn't expect us to be so crazy hahaha
But it turned out to be super worth it!
I did the one with monkey! And HJ did the gel nails with marble and purple nails with lines and stones!
Mine costs only 164rm and hers 239rm.
Super worth it considering the nail art and effort put in.

The whole journey there was very smooth, we didn't even queue much.
But I can't afford so many half days to travel to JB to do my nails :(
Anw, really glad I had the chance to hang out with her.
HJ is one of the rare pple I met whom I feel the 'click'.
She is just a very fun person to hang out with, or just to talk to.

She shared a lot about herself and in between, I learnt a lot as well.
In many ways, she reminds me of who I may become 2 years down the road.
Currently, I feel she is at this cross road juncture.
One she doesn't know where to go to.
But, don't we all? This generation Y.

We want to achieve, this generation driven by causes.
Yet we are not resilient enough when the going gets tough.
I think, living is so hard. Being an adult is tough.

Had my 4 days of orientation this past week, and I did make a few new acquaintances.
But, I feel like, it's really not easy to make friends beyond the superficial level now.
Everyone wants to make true friends,yet everyone is too wary and guarded to try.
I miss the feeling of meeting someone who doesn't have an agenda .
Alvin and shihan says I'm too innocent.
I think I am too. Too innocent to live in this harsh world.

Too sheltered, too pampered.
Too weak, too fearful.
Too childish, too immature.

Too me, who wears my heart on my sleeve.

Friends?

Felt I should write this down so that the future me can look back and see what 23/24 year old zy was going through.

So, 2015 was a huge change for me as I moved on from being a student to working 'adult' (although I don't feel like an adult yet)

Along with that, another huge change is the change in relationships - friends. 

I think the 20s is the period where one loses the most amount of friends from high school/uni as everyone moves on and tries to find their place in life.

And with work, there's only so much limited time to devote to people, family and yourself (me time is SUPER impt to me, I make sure I have 1.5 days to myself entirely each week)

What's worse, I have become so lazy to keep in touch with pple :x

I'm busy at work so I hardly touch my phone at work, and then when the day ends, I just listen to music on my phone but I can don't use whatsapp for ages, as long as nobody whatsapps me.

In the past, I would have been super bothered but nowadays, I hardly notice it lol 

Liang Lei, my neighbour in my section at work, tells me she goes through 'life cycle' friends

at different stages of her life.

And I agree, because only the pple at different stages of your life shares the same environment and hence have the same things to say.

Nowadays, whenever I talk to others, it's a bit hard unless I really share pics and names of my colleagues etc, coz they don't really know them.

And also because, I spend soooo much time at work, I hardly have the time to socialise and know new people.

Which prolongs my single status haha.

Not saying it's a bad thing, I actually enjoy being single. But I think I should still widen my socialising circle, it's always good to keep an open mind. 

And along with that, I feel like the frequency between me and val is also shifting. 

She is my best friend since secondary school and I still love her dearly.

But she has changed soooooo much ever since she got into a relationship and I am witness of it

And to be honest, I feel like we are moving at different paces.

I understand that she is finding herself and currently she is at a point in her life where she is unhappy with her life and what is in it - she doesn't like working, she doesn't feel trust in her relationship etc.

And being a perfectionist virgo, it doesn't help her cause.

But, I am really tired of seeing her this way.

The thing is, like what she said and concurs, I am not her, as much as I try to empathise, I can't help but to let my brains do the talking.

I don't understand how difficult it is to walk away

To me, the solution is simple - do what you want, while we are still young. If not, just endure this period through.

But of course, reality is not as simple.

And, I think I will just step back and not say anything anymore.

I am sad, at what the path ahead seems. 

But, I think I am slowly getting better at leaving things behind, because new friends will come, as long as you keep your heart open. 

I wanna mention something here, there's this girl at work that I grew really fond of.

We grew closer over the months, and I see her more as a friend than a colleague. 

But, as in most relationships, you are not sure of what the other party sees you as.

So what happened was, this week we sort of agreed on eating KFC for lunch one day, coz she requested it. 

But on the day itself, there was some miscommunication and she thought I wasn't gonna eat with her so she told me she is gonna eat Mcdonald breakfast in the morning and drop KFC.

I was kinda disappointed but I told myself it's ok. 

So I went on busy with work and had a meeting till 12.30pm lunch time. 

But when I opened the meeting corner door, she was out there waiting for me to buy KFC with her. 

HAHHAA at that point in time, I was really surprised.

But I feel really happy too, and thankful. 

I think making friends as an adult, there is this wariness period we have to go through - can we trust the person?

So, we have to take things real slow. But I've always believed that in order to become close with someone, we have to show our vulnerabilities. 

So I did. 

She is a really fun friend to hang out with and I really like her as a friend. 

Thank you, 大坏蛋, for making work less dreadful :)

Division

Went for BLESS house visit with Celine and LiPing tonight.

And I was saddened by some of the family's stories. 

The difference in family economic plight just a road apart surprised me greatly. 

And it made me realise, my complaints on how tedious my 1 hour commute to work is, or how long my 8.5 hours work day is, it all pales in comparison when I put things into perspective. 

At least I have the opportunity, many in life doesn't get opportunities to advance. 

When I'm working 8.5 hours, someone else is working 12 hours or sometimes even 24 hours to put food on the table for her 3 children as a single mom. 

I am more than blessed.

More than blessed, remember this. 

New year 2016.

Back!
Just reached SG from Japan.
This trip turned out a lot better than I expected, although there were a few minor hiccups along the way.
Thought that my trip was way too short and too cramped with activities.
Need to go back soon again! To check out Osaka, Kobe, Nara and Kyoto!
I really love Kyoto and I thought my time there was way too short this time round.

Didn't realise mum took the above pic of me while we were on our way to Narita Airport.
But it captured my sentiment perfectly - Home, but left my heart in Japan. Hahaha

New Year, New Beginnings.
There were a lot of transitions for me in 2015, especially the biggest being a student to working adult.
Everything still feels new and fresh for me and I hope 2016 will be kind to me as well - I don't wish everything goes well but rather, I will have the strength to handle anything that comes my way.

Went Meiji Shrine on the last day of 2015 and I got an amulet praying for a relationship hahaha.
For 2016, I hope I can find an other half. Hehe
Let's see if it comes true by the end of 2016. I hope it does, I really do.

Stay open-minded and be positive.
2016, I'm ready.