Simply because to me, what's in the past should remain in the past.
And, I share the sentiment that there's only 2 possible scenarios where a broken up couple can remain as friends:
1) They never really loved each other before
2) They still love each other
However... here comes Darius who broke my entire belief system (or rather cause me so much unhappiness)
I've always been sharing the good things about him here, that's because he is really the sweetest and most doting bf to me.
BUT, there is one major hiccup in our relationship that has persisted since the start - his Ex.
Before we got together, I was kinda hesitant because he is friends with his ex.
And is not those kind where you are just friends on social media, but rather the kind that meets up in real life quite often.
I asked him why and how? Given the situation they ended things (won't elaborate on that here)
He said is because they have mutual friends and social circle... and after some time I realised it's really true, she is everywhere.
For the last 2 weeks, they have met up twice - 1st is with his past work boss, 2nd is with their UK uni clique.
And somehow, guess my jealousy boiled over and we had a quarrel about it... tbh it wasn't the first time we had some unhappiness:
1) First time was when I found out he still kept close to thousands of his ex photos on his phone
2) Second time was coz he never deleted his ex and his photos on his IG (yet he doesn't post about us, why the double standard?)
3) Third time was last week
What made me even more unhappy was... he is very adamant on remaining friends with his ex.
Like this is something he refuses to compromise on... to be fair he did delete their photos on IG, he also deleted some of her photos in his phone but then there's just too many I guess (and his iphone autosyncs with his mac as well)
I won't fault him on that, because I also kept me and my ex photos on hard drive.
What I was unhappy about was the whole set-up... because I can't wrap my brains around it.
To me, there's no need to remain friends coz of common social circles, your friends can manuever around it like meeting separately etc.
And also, because I can't re-dress someone I undressed before. Won't you always visualise the person naked if you once had been intimate before? How do you go back to being pure friends?
Mind you, is not those small talk kinda friends but friends who meet more often than me and my best friend.
Anyway, I've realised there's no solution to this matter between us, it will always remain as a point of contention because we have different views on this.
But, I've decided to 放过我自己. Having such constant doubts, comparing myself against her by making the ex a 假想敌 is tiring.
I should focus on the now, what we have and making myself more confident.
Just one last thing... I've really never in million years of my life imagined I would one day get into such a situation.
Guess I struck Toto, he is really a gem. *Roll Eyes*
