Life's a mess.

2 words pretty much sums up my life right now: a mess.

- Our PW is dying, drowning my grade with it. ST refuses our topic at a time like this, how how?? Meeting PW comm. on monday. T.T

- CT results was totally bad. I can't say that it was not beyond my expectations coz i totally expected 3 subs to fail. However, compare it with the rest of the sch!!! And my highest is a C. Look at that.
Promo criteria: S,E,E. But to keep 4 H2s, i need S.S.D.D. OMG. That means i HAVE to pass chem. Don't mention GP, i totally have no interest in it.

- Chem and Econs lect. test nxt wk. Both falls on the same day. With my current understanding of both subs, just brace myself and expect nothing but a fail.

- A-levels SPA and SPA trial coming. Titrations after titrations after titrations. And guess what? I totally have no idea how to ans the qs in the wkst. Most of the time, the ans are copied from somewhere.

- Morning assembly resumes nxt wk. I totally have no idea what the sch is thinking. So many pple in our sch are falling sick!! Brain-less.

- And as if those are not enough, just look at my pathetic friendship state. Add to my woes, come on.

Tragically, at a time like this, i can't help but say: LIFE SUCKS IS HORRIBLE.
I think i'm experiencing pre-midlife crisis.

Hopefully, things pick up from here.
I mean, if you are already at the bottom, there's nowhere else to go but up right?

Can't believe i'm strangely optimistic at a time like this.

Love. Hate.

~Syva

Love. Hate.
I've realised, only a thin invisible line exists between them.

It took half a year of despair and troubles.
Was it worthwhile?
Nope, not at all.
Finally, my heart is dead. No more hopes for this friendship, none at all.

Part of my past history, no longer in sync with my present and future.
And no, i'm not gonna venture into hate now.
I'm stepping on the thin line.
Before smth else happens and i fall off.
Into Love or Hate?
That depends.


It was a stab to my heart.
And you know it.
I wish, i can hear no evil.


"Is it possible, in the final analysis, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another? We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close can we come to that person's essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?" — Haruki Murakami (The Wind-up Bird Chronicle)

I'm late,for reality.

Hold up the harsh truth.
You know you can.
Found myself, what matters is how i carry on from here.

I should stop living in my own bubble.

STARS!! ;)

Today, 28th JULY'09 is a significant day.
Coz, i learnt how to fold stars today!!!!!!
;)
WHEE~~~

I know i'm slow, but slow is better than never.
HA!

Ok, off to fold stars. do my chem and econs.

Toodles!

Pieces of me.

~Almost1216


Went Clarke Quay with my family today.
Purpose: Singapore food festival aka Peranakan cuisine.
:)



I was a bit disappointed when i saw them using machine manufactured spices.
And here i thought, they'll be showing traditional methods of cooking.
Sigh.
But, the outing was fun overall.
Though we didn't do anything much, as a family together, that's more than enough.
^^

Oh ya, today's the 1st time i've ever went to clarke quay!
Unbelievable but true.
haha!
And the place is super ex.
I dunno if its my bad memory or what, but i don't rmb the roadside ice-cream as $1.50.
:/

The night view is super nice!
We sat beside the river and watched the bungee jump for awhile.
LOL!

After dinner and on the way home in the taxi,
I was lost in thoughts, as usual.
As we grow up, we tend to lose pieces of ourselves.
We change, normally oblivious to ourselves.
Are the changes good or bad?
No one knows, but one thing i'm sure of, they are parts and parcels of growing up.

You realise the fragility of humans, the cruelty of reality and harshness of words.
You lose your naviety, hopes and believes you had as a child.
You easily grow tired and sick of life at times.
Your wants and desires increases but happiness decreases.
Sometimes, you even tend to hate yourself.

I think i had never been more at peace with myself than when i was in the taxi.
I smiled unknowingly, as if i had let go of another part of me.
Suddenly, i was full of hope and anticipation for another day,
even though tmr is another hectic and tiring day.
You may lose pieces of yourself, but in the process, you gain new parts of yourself as well.
Parts of the future you, good or bad, you may never know.

But at the end, it's still you.
At peace with oneself, accept what you can and let go of what you can't change.
That's when, happiness comes knocking.


xoxo
zy

Sometimes.

Sometimes,

People says things that hurts you not because they hate you, but because they love you too much.

Goodbyes.

Credits: korny-pnk

I don't like goodbyes.
It always makes me feel like tearing.
And today, we said goodbye to Mr leow.

Mr leow is a really good Econs teacher.
And even though he had only taught us for 5 months,
he made a significant impact on me.
Especially with all the many consultations i had with him.
I will continue to persevere and work hard for econs!
And all the best to his future endeavors! :)
I'll miss him.
T.T

I crashed phys lect. again today.
And it was super special.

Mr wong was the lecturer for this topic: 'waves'
And he started the whole topic by performing Jay chou's '安静' on the grand piano.
HAHA!
It was like a mini concert as all the NJCians in the LT clapped and cheered.
At the end of the lect., there was even a birthday dedication.
The girl must be really blessed.
LOL.

I've said goodbye too many times.
Why does all good things have to end?

xoxo
zy

7 minutes.

~rainbow-art

Received back both Inter. hist and Econs CT paper today.
Overall, both Hist and Econs was a 'C'.
My CT results is rather amusing: CCCU.
HAHA!
Hopefully my GP won't get a 'U'.
>.<

It was raining so heavily in the morning!
& i was practically shivering.
I was lazy to bring jacket, serves me right.

Skipped the leadership period in LT1 and stayed at the canteen chatting.
LOL!
& i really really 佩服 jocelyn.
She's super pro!
Taking H3 star research, 4 H2s, running for angklung president. All this and there's still PW.
I wonder how the girl manage to cram so many things in 24hrs.

Oh ya, Jacy's quarantined.
:(
Wonder how i'm gonna survive through Pe tmr.
It's gonna be boring without Jacy and Shuqin.

Wonder why's the title 7 minutes?
I thought of it during hist lesson today.
7 mins, take a deep breathe and it's a mad dash.
:)

xoxo
zy

Just let me emo abit.

Once and for all.

Scrolled through my sms inbox and memories overwhelmed me.
' XZY AND PAMPER GO! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! hahaha. you guys love me sooo much and i love you two too xD'
That was the last msg in my inbox and the one that i've stored the longest.
Dated almost a year ago.

A year have gone by,
& we have become nothing more than strangers.
It's a marvel how things work.
How you could be so close for three years and then...'poof', back to the starting point of being strangers.
Only this time, it's much much different.
Because, you have shared 3 years of wonderful memories.

I don't understand how life works sometimes.
Why must things come and go?
They say, its fate for you to meet and know someone.
Is it fate for someone to leave you as well?
If it is, i would rather fate never to have come knocking.

People may say, it's better to know someone than never to have know them at all.
At least, you have fond memories to look back on.
However, they didn't include the pain and struggle to let go when someone leaves your life.
If they did, perhaps they would choose never to have met them at all.

For you, i didn't regret meeting you.
You taught me a lot of things and was my pillar of support through sec. sch.
But the pain in letting go is smth so excruciating.
However, when the time comes and the smile leaves a person's face, you know its time to let someone go.

For now, just let me keep my happy and heck care facade.
Because that's the only way for me to protect myself, from reality.

New Blogskin! + College Day holiday outing.

Changed blogskin,
and i think this is rather nice as well.
At least it seems cheerful.
HAHA!

Today's outing was quite a disaster.
Jacy was suddenly sick with high fever and she couldn't go.
So, it was just me and chunjing out against the world. at bugis.
It was rather fun but i was super tired.
LOL!

At least we found our earrings and i bought four pairs of socks!
:)
Colourful. HAHA.

Tmr's trip to video Chef philip chia is cancelled,
what a pity.
:(
Now, it's like starting over again.
Well, at least we don't have to change our topic.
haha.
& i need to work on my EOM,
Ching Ching said it was poor.
T.T

I have a sudden craving for 'Peach Tea + Nata de coco'.
OH NO.
and its all Bok's fault,
for introducing me to the drink in the first place.
HAHA.

Sch tmr!

xoxo
zy

~bylaauraa

Woke up late today at 6.30am and practically jumped out of bed.
LOL!

Was extremely happy in the morning as we received back our SEA hist CT.
&...
I PASSED!!!!
:)
Hopefully, i will pass my Inter. hist paper as well.
And achieve a 'C' for overall at least.

Went to the rooftop during GC period today,
& i realised i love the feeling of standing at the rooftop.
The sun shining on you, a breeze blowing past you & sipping my favourite 'Peach tea + Nata de coco'.
The feeling is indescribable.
Talked quite a lot with Chun Jing and Jacy.
Going out with this 2 girls tmr too!
;)

On the way home today, i realised that i'm actually feeling contented.
As usual, life is never easy and i do have everyday things that dampens my mood.
However, i should appreciate and cherish what i have.
And i realised, anything is possible and nothing is forever.
不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。

知足，常乐。

xoxo
Zy

Happy Happy day. Hee.

~micahgolaut

So cute right??
HAHA!

I'm super, duper tired now.
However, today was a happy happy day,
so i wanna blog about it.
:)

Went Peranakan Museum after school today with PW mates.
& i realised that NJC students can visit the museum for free!!!!
Apparently the sch is in some sort of peranakan organisation,
this made me like the sch a little bit more.
LOL!

Peranakan museum was really really beautiful!
The clothes, artifacts, food and feasting, everything was done beautifully.
I recommend everyone to go if they have the chance.
:)

Afterwhich, i went to find Hilda and Bok for dinner at causeway point.
Ate at Ajisen!
Yums. Hee.
I realised we can talk about anything under the sun,
from Stalin to Hitler to my chem teacher getting married.
and that's what i love the most about them.
:)

Oh ya, speaking of which.
I was reminded of my desire to get married when my chem teacher announced her wedding.
& bok and hilda started asking me for my ideal BF.
HAHA!
We talked and analysed for a long time,
and i realised my expectations are too high.
=x

Some celebrities which i really like:


Tom Cruise! There's a certain charisma about him that i really really like. Just look at those eyes! They seemed to be staring straight into your soul. ;)


Chace Crawford! Started liking him from Gossip Girl. He have the pretty boy look and i love his eyes as well! But, i didn't really like his character in the show coz he was a huge flirt. LOL!


Jimmy lin! <3 his cute boyish look. HAHA!

Gonna be real busy during the weekends!
I plan to finish quite a lot of things.
And there's the dreadful PW.
:(

Focusing on positive thoughts!
But for now, gonna go sleep.
:)

Goodnight.

xoxo
zy

Laughing Fits DAY

~daniellefershure

Laughing fits day today.
LOL!

It started in the canteen when i noticed jacy was wearing the NJC badge wrongly.
As in the pin was poking from beneath the collar instead of the other way round.
& i stupidly said:' Jacy, did you purposely wear your badge wrongly?'
LOL!!!!!
It was very funny at that time,
me, jacy and chunjing was laughing uncontrollably.
What's even worse, verena and shuqin didn't know what happened and they just stared at us in bewilderment as we laughed till we were gasping for air.
HAHAHAHAHA!

That was the most significant laugh of the day actually.
LOL!
Coz i haven't had a heart-felt laugh in a long long time.

For PE, we played basketball!
I heart thurs pe. <3
Coz of the teacher + the pple.
Jacq was calling me' virtually useless person'
coz im supposed to be helping my team members but i just stood ard.
& jacq was supposed to be defending me.
HAHA!
But i still managed to shoot 3 hoops.
:)

Busy busy.
But i'm gonna maintain myself in a state of happiness.
Thinking only about the good things.

Oh ya, i realised doing good deeds make me happy.
No matter how small they are.
& i did 2 today.
:)

xoxo
zy

Marathon.

~Bunnis

It feels like a never-ending marathon.
& i think i just lost half the race.

I'm Stuck.

and

Lost.

一某=emo

一某ing. T.T
Jacy came up with this term during phys lect when i was emo-ing like hell.
LOL.
Cracked me up real bad.

I'm also not sure why.
Overwhelming sense of lost, and i'm trying real hard not to think about it.
I have TONS of things to do,
and yet, i don't feel like doing any of them.

'My goal today is not to be emo.'
Bok typed this in my phone today.
HAHA.
Seems like everybody is telling me not to be emo,
but its just like days like this,
that makes me emo.
:(


When a smile leaves a persons' face, that's when you know its time to let them go.
I really like you a lot as a friend,
but i don't think you even treat me as a friend.
I'm afraid and i can't be myself when i'm around you anymore.
But at least, one thing i'm proud of,
I know i'm slowly letting go.


Tomorrow will be a better day.
:)

xoxo
Zy

~krawuzi

I like the feel of the picture.
Mysterious and yet you can feel the yearning of the girl as she stares out into the unknown.
Not forgetting, i love her dress!
:)

Family day today!
Went out with my family to listen to 'Schubert's Trout Quintet' at VCH.
Same concert hall as the one gz performed last time!

Their playing was fantastic!
Quintet: Piano, Violin, Viola, Cello and Double Bass.
My dad was commenting how i could never play half as good as the pianist.
:(
I want to learn how to play the violin!
I was watching the violin player and it was so intriguing.
Someday, i will.

After the concert, we walked around Singapore River and went to eat dinner at a Shanghai Restaurant.
Yum yum.
I ate my FAVOURITE xiao long baos!
:)

My dad seemed willing to let me fly back to Shanghai during the dec hols!
WOOHOO!
I can't wait! :))))))

Anyway, i'm infatuated with Japanese Songs nowadays.
Especially those of Nishino Kana.


There.
She's very pretty!
& she can sing.
:)

Ok, School tmr.
Think receiving back CT papers.
WISH ME LUCK!!!!
*Cross-fingers*

xoxo
ZY

Ice age 3!!

Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs!
Watched it after school today with Hilda.
NICE! :))))
& peaches was so so cute!

There was this little toddler in the cinema with us,
and she kept walking up and down the stairs.
When i went to the toliet,
she nearly followed me!
So CUTE!!!!
Hee.

Ate subway with Hilda after that,
and went home.


This pic is cute too!
The 3 dinosaurs rather cute, especially when they took sid as their mum.
LOL!

I realised happiness evaporates.
& all thats left behind in me is the feeling of emptiness.
I was in school today when i suddenly felt a weird sensation.
I felt like i was floating outside my body,
and watching myself from afar.

I read this from somewhere
" The hard way out is usually the best way out"
Perhaps.
nobody said life was easy.

I guess part of the reason i'm still holding on is because i never felt joy like before.
It's just on outing,
& yet, it left a huge impact on me.
But things have changed.

& i think the best way out is for me to let go.
Afterall, i think you don't even care about me at all.
Pretending may be an easy way out,
but where will it end?

I will release myself,
i forbid myself to think pessimistically.
And i will let go of you,
even if it kills me emotionally.


xoxo
zy

Guilty as charged. :'(











How horrible a feeling that is.

~chaad

Smile, and the world smiles with you.
:))))))

And this time i'm serious.
I can't let myself get into those situations again.
Where i get all entangled in my thoughts.
Seriously, why do i want to let myself even think those pessimistic thoughts?
& let myself get into those messy situations?

Think about it.
What's not good about my life?
At least i don't have to worry about food or shelter.
Save yourself, and break free from the cycle.

I can't let something as mundane as friendship probs affect my life.
Life goes on, and i should cherish what i have instead of grasping on to the past desperately.
Things change, people change.
Look towards the future and live in the present.
Let the past just be memories and let them go.

No one can bring me down unless i let myself to.
I'm learning to be strong, don't let fear affect your life.
& i'm going to achieve it.


Just believe.

~look-down

Went out with Bok and Hilda yesterday.
To Iluma for some Fine Japanese dining.
HAHA!

The restaurant was nice,
and the ordering system was totally cool.
We used a pen and taped on the menu to order,
and the machine will send our order to the cook or something.
Anyway, it was the first time i've seen smth like that.

And we played some anime game which is like jie long.
It was fun!
:)

After our very fulfilling lunch,
we went to Bok's house.
And we played rock band.
LOL!

It was me and Hilda's first time playing rock band.
And we were so bad at it at first.
But after a few tries,
We sorta got the hand of it and it was sooooo fun!

I can't play the drums though but hilda was so good at it!
Most of the time i was playing the guitar.
Oh ya, our virtual band is called " Yours Truly"
and i think its a nice name, coz i came up with it.
haha ;P


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!!
:)))))))))))


Hopefully the party later will be a success.




I really need to learn how to control my emotions.
I can't let my emotions run my life,
& this days, i've been so temperamental.

And somehow, things never did get back to how it was like last time.
Even though we tried to grow with the scar.


I realised i'm still carrying a tiny spark of hope.
Should i blow it out?

Different issues bothering me.
Where is my happily-ever-after?

Transformers 2!!

Caught Transformers 2: Revenge of the fallen yesterday at JP.
The effects were splendid, but i still prefer Transformers 1.
HAHA!

Went JP before the intended meeting time to buy jess present.
Was such a failure, me and pam walked ard the whole JP and couldn't even find a suitable one.
And i even got lost in JP.
It's so huge!

Going out again later.
To eat some japanese restaurant.
HA!



I totally don't understand why my mum is so selfish.
She always puts others before her family.
Perhaps for teenagers at my age,
sometimes its acceptable for us to put friends before family as we go through the same things together.
My mum already have her own family,
and my dad to care for her,
can't she be more considerate and care more for us?

Tmr is my dad birthday,
and she's planning to throw a birthday party.
It was meant to be today at first,
then i told her im going out with friends but i said its ok for me to say i can't go.
And then, she suddenly remembered she's not free on sat also.
So she changed the date to sunday.
OH, so now she have the rights to change coz she's busy?
Ok fine, coz she's the organizer.

And then, tmr is the party and the cake is still not ordered.
Excuse: she's too busy.
The reason i see is she completely didnt bother about it and totally forgot about it.


OH GOSH.
I'm totally not supposed to be ranting.
It's just, i dunno how long i can stand such a family.
Where everyone is so so selfish.
It's suffocating me.

xoxo, Gossip Girl.

I never did get the hype over this show.
But, now i do.

I think Blair is so pretty!
OMG.

So scandalous.

You know you love me.
xoxo

Freedom!

Credits: Eredel

It's been a long time since i've felt so relieved and happy.
And it started at exactly 4.30pm today.
My last ct paper ended at 4.30pm.

Had a complete nervous breakdown yesterday night.
I cried 3 times and kept tearing, it was like my tears were neverending.
I really released all the stress accumulated in me for this CT.
And now, its over.

As for the results,
i'm not harboring any hopes.
Perhaps only for econs and maths.
Hopefully, i can pass this 2 subs.

No matter the outcome,
CT is over!
And that alone is enough to throw confettis in air.
LOL!

I'm feeling so sleepy now.
Didn't have one good night sleep for the past 3 days.
Told ya i was a complete nervous wreck.

My mum was shocked by my breakdown,
coz i never did cry so hard, not even for O's.
Pray, i can survive through the rest of my JC life.
Another 1 and half yrs to go.

Putting CT aside,
i need to start work on my dying PW.
Even though i think an A for pw is beyond reach,
i still hope not to score too bad.
Minimum a B.



Afterall, no matter what happens
time waits for no one and life goes on.