It feels surreal.
I know things are not the same, it may never be the same anymore.
Looking at this pics, makes me happy.
At least there was a time, where i felt truly happy.
Ever since this yr started, where was the last time i truly laughed from the bottom of my heart?
Or even worse, when was the last time i smiled?
Honestly, i can't rmb.
People say i've changed.
Countless people.
To a more quiet, more emo self.
I can't control my emotions.
I can't control my tears.
I can't control myself.
I can't control my life.
Depression? 10 symptoms, i have all 10 of them.
Parents are worried, i'm worried too.
I want to get myself out, out of this trap where i'm turning round and round.
Everyday, i feel so tired.
When, when did this happen?
Why, why did it happen to me?
I'm tired of asking why's when there's no answers.
You don't choose what illness you have, they pick you, not you choose them.
The only way, is to make the best of out it.
I can't tell any of my friends.
Counsellor? Been there, done that.
Made me realise more about myself, that's true.
She pin-pointed it out, i can't and don't trust people easily.
It's damn tough to earn my trust,
similarly, it's tough for pple to trust me too.
Vicious cycle.
Sch work?
Lagging behind. Basically, i can't tune out my emotions enough to concentrate on work.
A levels, A levels, A levels.
Continues nagging somewhere at the back of my brain.
But, i can't gather enough strength, i'm not strong enough.
I lost my courage,
my determination,
my past self.
Who am i?
Please, help me find my courage, my strength.
I want to tide over this.
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