Blessed.

I'm 18!!!!!!! :D
HAHAHAHA

So before this day is over, i just want to express my sincere thanks to all this wonderful souls:

Chinhwee, Joanne, Eunice, Pamela, Valerie, Yulin, Xiao Qian, Li er, Jocelyn, ChunJing, Wanen,
WanJia, Jason, Eugene, Kenneth, ZhengHan, Mandy, Sinlin, Josephine, Poh Hui, Daisy, Chun Yan, Fiona, ZiJia, Grace,Jessica, KongYong, RuiTing, MiaoLing, KimChi, Germaine, Yiyin, Shalaka, Molina, Jiaqiang, SiWen, AJ, Vanessa Zavier, Vanessa and ChernPing for their Birthday wishes!!!!! :D
[I hope i didn't miss out any names =x ]

Special Thanks to:
Liew Suping!!!! For remembering my birthday!!! HAHAHA
Shuqin! For your beautiful Helen's earrings and Hand-made card! :D
HuiGe! For your small card and lollipops! ;)
Jacy! <3 For your earrings and Hand-made card too! The words touched my heart! :)
Bok, Hilda and Sabrina! <3<3<3 For eating breakfast with me, for rushing that card out and just for being there. I love you guys!!!!!!

And of course, to my family members : Daddy, Mummy, Erik, Joyce and Aunt [ Who smsed all the way from china ] <3


I feel sooooo blessed.
It might not be the best birthday ever, but, it's a birthday which i will rmb. HAHAHA

:)

18.

Couldn't resist putting this picture up, simple coz the little girl is so cute! :)

Did both econs and Gp paper yesterday.
Yes, i survived both.
However, It was so horribly done that i can't imagine my results. :(
I think i've never done so badly before.
Aurgh.
Still trying to get myself to forget about it and move on.

____________________________________________________

In another 3.5 hrs time, it will be my 18th birthday.
Honestly, i'm not looking forward to it...
For one simple reason: I'm turning one year older and 18 years old marks the growth from a young girl to a woman.
Which i'm not and still not prepared for.

I think being 17 must be the greatest age of all.
18 just..... sounds so old.
I'm just 2 yrs away from 2o!
Notice how my age will start with 2, sigh.

Went shopping by myself today.
I treat it as a form of retail therapy, although most of the things that i bought are tolietries.
HAHAHA
Speaking of which, our GP comprehension passage was about Loners and why loners are better than being in a community.
I found it.... hmmm..... insightful.
I mean, i can't believe there are people out there who side with loners.
Notice, it's 'loners' and not being alone only at times.
I do agree we need personal space but the author's definition of loners was those who choose to distance themselves from others.
Not saying her stand is wrong, it did give me another perspective on things.

Tomorrow, 27th May'10, my 18th year on earth,
I will be spending the whole day in school and then Tan Tock Seng hospital at night.
Planning to do good deeds on my birthday to make it eventful.
HAHAHA


P.S For once, no expectations. For once, i just want to enjoy tomorrow to the best i can.
I really hate how birthdays lose their magical touch as you grow older.
Well, i guess everything else does. So we just make the best out of everything we can.

Till then!
:)

Freaking out.

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I'm literally freaking myself out!!!!

What if i dun know how to do any essay qs tmr??
What if i just write out of point or forget everything?
What if i flunk Gp and Econs??

:'(

Sob.

I need a break. Why is A levels so freaking demanding?????





I Can Do This.

无能为力。

It's one of those days, where nostalgia takes its toll on me.
Sometimes, i really wish i can be less sentimental.
My greatest strength is also my greatest weakness.

I really don't wish to brood on the past any longer.
I've learnt that people change and people leave, nothing remains constant and things change.
The idea is easy to grasp, theoretically.
In reality, it's easier said than done.

It hurts, to know what we've become and how we can't ever go back to how we were in the past.
It hurts even more, for me to pretend at times, that i don't care.
When in fact i care, more than ever.

Sometimes i wish i can forget the past and start my life anew, in a place where no one knows me.

I'm in this state of constant fear.
And the thing i fear the most, is failure and rejection.
Which is the main reason why i remain silent.

I really wish i can be a stronger person.
But i'm in this situation where i don't even know who i am and what i want.
I'm confused, by life.

Sometimes, i reflect upon who's left in my life.
And i realised, i don't really have any friend whom i can truly rely on.
.
..
...
.......
...
..
.
At times, i feel blessed.
At least, i think i should.
I have a wonderful family, i have all 4 limbs, i can see, hear, taste, i have a roof over my head.
And i feel guilty, for being unhappy and whining about the slightest things.

Sometimes, i wonder why people are always leaving my life.
Is it because i don't seem to make any effort?
Or is it just because i didn't make any significant impact in any of your lives?
Is it because, i'm so easily forgettable?
.
..
.....
.........
....
..
.

I really wish i can remain a child forever.
I really wish i don't have to grow up.
I really wish someone can remain in my life and be the friend i never had.
I really wish i can stop expecting so much.
I really wish i can figure out who i am and what i want.
I really wish i can stop fearing.
I really wish, i can be happy.


我很想念小时候，真得很想念以前的你，钟韵。

Doubt.

Sometimes, i doubt myself.
I wonder if i can make it.
I wonder if what i'm doing is right.
And most importantly, i wonder if miracles can happen.

Is it inevitable that people drift apart? If love or friendship can’t withstand time, then I guess it was never meant to be? Or is it me that people always leave?

Tired.

I'm not going to spend my life chasing people. You want to leave? Fine then, go ahead. Because I’m done with chasing and caring for people who never had interest in me. Nothing lasts and people change. I’ve learned love is hard and life isn’t always what you want it to be.
~ gildedbutterflies

Done, for good.
Time for me to move on completely.
As you grow older, you lose more pple in your life.
So, expect nth and just cherish those whom are in your life right now.
You may never know, those people might be the ones that stays with you for life.

To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning.
It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true.
To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds,
To know the wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.
To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child’s eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we learn to love.
To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us.
When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.
To believe is to know we are not alone,
That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.
To believe is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.
If only we believe.

~ unknown