无能为力。

It's one of those days, where nostalgia takes its toll on me.
Sometimes, i really wish i can be less sentimental.
My greatest strength is also my greatest weakness.

I really don't wish to brood on the past any longer.
I've learnt that people change and people leave, nothing remains constant and things change.
The idea is easy to grasp, theoretically.
In reality, it's easier said than done.

It hurts, to know what we've become and how we can't ever go back to how we were in the past.
It hurts even more, for me to pretend at times, that i don't care.
When in fact i care, more than ever.

Sometimes i wish i can forget the past and start my life anew, in a place where no one knows me.

I'm in this state of constant fear.
And the thing i fear the most, is failure and rejection.
Which is the main reason why i remain silent.

I really wish i can be a stronger person.
But i'm in this situation where i don't even know who i am and what i want.
I'm confused, by life.

Sometimes, i reflect upon who's left in my life.
And i realised, i don't really have any friend whom i can truly rely on.
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At times, i feel blessed.
At least, i think i should.
I have a wonderful family, i have all 4 limbs, i can see, hear, taste, i have a roof over my head.
And i feel guilty, for being unhappy and whining about the slightest things.

Sometimes, i wonder why people are always leaving my life.
Is it because i don't seem to make any effort?
Or is it just because i didn't make any significant impact in any of your lives?
Is it because, i'm so easily forgettable?
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I really wish i can remain a child forever.
I really wish i don't have to grow up.
I really wish someone can remain in my life and be the friend i never had.
I really wish i can stop expecting so much.
I really wish i can figure out who i am and what i want.
I really wish i can stop fearing.
I really wish, i can be happy.


我很想念小时候，真得很想念以前的你，钟韵。