Farewell, 2010. Hello 2011!!!

This is such a weird time to type my year end reflections.
However, i have a NYE party to attend later and by the time it end, it will be tmr morning.
HAHA
So i've decided to type it now.

2010, where do i begin?
This was my big yr, A-levels.
10 yrs of studies, just for that last big exam which will determine whether i can make it to uni and my career options.
Honestly, 2010 wasn't my best yr.
It was miserable, torturing and stressful.
I lost my directions countless times, cried due to stress countless times and even had suicidal thoughts in the beginning of the year.

Friends come and go, my best secondary clique, we've drifted further and further away.
I'm becoming more and more anti-social.
I'm growing to love solitude.
I'll rather be alone by myself than go out in big grps.
Hmm, this is bad.

People change and things go wrong. But just remember, Life Goes On.

I've decided to stop running away from problems.
Yes, i still fear but i will try not to let the fear restrict me or hide away.
2011, i'm looking forward to it.
Hopefully it will be a good year! :)

CSI agent for a day!

Haven't went out in a looooong time.
So, on a whim, i called bok and asked her out yesterday....
to be a CSI agent.

Went Sci center and it was really an experience.
We had 4 cases to solve and each case had clues all over the exhibition.
At the end, we have to hand in our report and obtain a CSI diploma.
Rather fun and interactive i must say.
Though it was super easy and we can obtain the ans even without waiting for our turn at the computers as there were so many pple.
We could have gotten our ans from the person in front.

Afterwhich, we went library and IMM for dinner.
Gosh, how i miss that place.
I miss my old house. :'(

Anw, $$ is going out and no $$ is entering my acc.
Coz i havent obtained a job yet. Hmm...
Going for year-end countdown party tmr!!!
$$$$ out again.
And there's this grp outing on sun!!!
$$$$ fly.

Seriously, i swear, after 2nd Jan, i'm gonna get a job.
Like eagerly seek employment.
I will get a job, latest by 2nd wk of Jan'11.
I need $$$$.

Wish me luck!! :)
Happy new year!!

Mr Papaya

Meet Mr. Papaya, he's the friendliest of all fruits. HAHAHA ;)
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Been so obsessed with the TV series 'Fringe'
Omg, superb show!
Walter Bishop is my favourite character, he's super funny!!
Mr papaya is his creation. HAHAHA
So cute!!
* fan-girl squeal*

Besides being obsessed with 'fringe', my life have been pretty mundane.
I want to learn Japanese but the courses are so ex. Bummer. :(

Abrupt ending!

xoxo,
Zy

Life. Live it the way you want.

Many a times, i open up blogger, type a few words and backspace them all.
The truth is, i no longer know how to open up to others, to wear my heart on my sleeves.
I wonder if it is because my life is mundane or i no longer have or see the need to.

Went for a job interview yesterday and the senior director jolted me awake.
That was the first time such an empowering woman interviewed me.
I was scared and behaved so, to which she asked: ' Are you really confident you can handle this job? We have targets for you and the clients you are speaking to are older than you. How are you going to handle them? All i see is a little girl in front of me.'

I don't have any experience and i do admit i'm pampered.
I was shocked by her words but it is the cold hard truth and i admitted that i am not suitable for that job, to which she sent me home of course.
During the whole train ride home, i kept wondering:' What do i want with my life?'
Finding a part-time job is already so tough and i am 60% confident my A-level is in the drains.
If i can't enter university, what will happen to me?

And then i thought about my dreams.
Florist, Nurse, Astronaut, Hotel manager, wedding planner....
They all exists as dreams unless i do smth and turn them into reality.
The only way to achieve my dreams is to stop dreaming and start doing.
Sounds ironic.

I don't know what i want with my life, actually.
Exclusive only trip, guaranteed to be a trip full of ups and downs.
I'm afraid to make choices, i'm afraid of the consequences and the what ifs...
What if the ending is not smth i want?
What if its all a waste and i'm worse off than i began?
What if...
But what if it all ends well?
What if i don't take the first step and spent the rest of my life regretting?

"'What' and ‘if’ 2 words as non threatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side & they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."
- Letters from Juliet

I have tons of questions and problems.
But i know, the only person who can find those answers and solutions is myself.
Lost in this tangled web called life.
I really hope i can find myself soon.
I really hope i can figure out what i want with my life.



Hopefully.


Xoxo,
Zhongyun

Rapunzel- A Tangled Tale

Disney never fails to make me feel like a kid all over again.
To live my dreams and believe that the sky is the limit, nothing is impossible.
I LOVE Rapunzel <3


Someday, my dreams will come true too and my light will shine. :)

Fear

I think fear is the single biggest impediment in our lives.
We fear:
Failures
opinions
consequences
the future
and what we'll never know.

Sometimes, we should just take a leap of faith.
Believe and trust yourself, your capabilities, your judgement.
Just do it and stop fearing,
or else, you'll never live.

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Have been busy moving house and looking for a job recently.
Went for a job interview yesterday, not sure whether i'll get it though. =/
Went to all these agencies but none of them are calling me recently...
Hmm...

Anw, i want to mention this incident on monday that made me realise the importance of MRT.
Hilda and I went to Orchard with other friends and we were on our way home when the MRT service terminated at Outram Park.
Apparently, MRT service had terminated from outram park to clementi.
In the end, hilda and I went back to Dhouby Ghaut and took the red line back to JE.
An hour trip home became 2 hrs.
-.-

The 10 o'clock news was on when i reached home and the reason for the termination was due to a guy who commited suicide by jumping onto the rail at queenstown.
I was quite irritated because of the inconvenience caused to others but i guess....
Nvm.


Anw, i'm blogging at my new house now!!!!
Went IKEA with my parents yesterday and we finally bought a table and cupboard for my room.
I've been surviving on a bed and boxes ard me for the past few days.
HAHAHA

Going shopping tmr!!! Watching Rapunzel too!!
Can't wait!! :)

Till then,
Zy

P/s Hopefully i can get a job soon...