Self-Absorption

I've been thinking long and hard before i decided to type out this post.

First of all, this post is triggered by the increasing number of teenage suicides that have came of concern to me and i do agree that suicide can be a sensitive aka touchy topic.

Nevertheless, this post contains my personal opinions and i apologise if it appears offensive or offends anyone.

So, i came back from Taiwan last Sunday and was happily unpacking my bags when one piece of news caught my eyes:

Teenage girl falls to her death at Ang Mo Kio

By Jeffrey Oon | SingaporeScene – Sun, May 15, 2011
An 18-year-old girl fell to her death in Ang Mo Kio Avenue 6 on Saturday evening.

Krystal Aki Mizoguchi, who was half Japanese, was found dead at the foot of her block at about 7.40pm at Blk 509, Ang Mo Kio Ave 6, reported Shin Min Daily News.

She is said to have fallen from her flat on the ninth floor and according to the Chinese daily, is believed to have committed suicide due to relationship problems.

Two suicide notes were reportedly discovered. Krystal, who was to turn 19 next month, was waiting to begin classes at a private university after finishing a five-month stint as a temporary clerk at the Ministry of Education.

According to her blog, the Yishun Junior College student grew up in a single-parent family and has been living with her 17-year-old brother for three years in her current three-room flat. Her parents are believed to be separated.

Krystal is also known to have begun dating from 13 years old and since then neglected her studies.

A scan of her Facebook page revealed several cheerful photos of herself in what seemed to be a usual teenager's life.

But the last entry on her blog, dated March 5 earlier this year and which was entitled "Crash and Burn", spoke of her broken dreams after poor A-Level exam results.

I cut and paste the key points, you can read the full article here.

I was deeply saddened by this news

However, at the same time, i was perplexed, by her actions and reasons for committing suicide.

After reading her blog and various newspaper articles reporting her suicide, i have came to the conclusion that she committed suicide due to a break-up and not up to expectation A Level results.

The latter being an underlying reason and the former the catalyst.

If you ask me, i would say that not being able to enter a local Uni is not the end of the world.

I mean if you strictly look at Statistics, only about top 30% of 1992-ers enter local Unis.

So, what about the rest of the 70%? Do they all commit suicide because they can't enter a local Uni?

As for relationships, honestly speaking, what do we know about LOVE at 18 years old?

I seriously believe it's all teenage puppy love at our stage now and it's not justifiable to give up your life for it.

Ok, i'm seriously the last person deem fit enough to judge someone's relationship and their choices.

I mean, Suicide is very much a personal decision and Krystal chose it.

I respect her decision and just wish her all the best in the afterlife, rest in peace.

The thing that i feel the most sad for is her mother and younger brother.

Her mother single-handedly raised her up only to have her being so cowardly and weak and committed suicide.

What about her poor brother who looked up towards her as a role-model?

All she left behind is an example of taking the easy way out when problems come about.

In death, the dead gets the easy way out as their suffering ended, but those who live continues their life with a piece of them gone forever. It's those who live whom carries the pain with them forever.

Maybe it is because we are of the same age and at the same stage of our life now,

Krystal's suicide struck me particularly deep, even till today when it was a week old news.

I thought about her reasons for doing so and how depressed she must be to commit suicide.

And the only thing i could come up with is: Self-Absorption.

I think this is a problem that most Gen-Y kids have (including me).

We are too self-absorbed with our own problems that we ignore everything else ard us.

We perceive other pple's judgement of us when others may not even care about you.

We enlarge our problems till it's the end of the world when it's just peanuts if you compare it to, let's say, the recent Japan Tsunami and Earthquake?

"Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action."
— Daniel Goleman (Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships)

This quote adequately explains what i'm trying to say about self-absorption.

Maybe it's time for all of us to burst our bubbles and live a life beyond it.

Life is not all candies and fairytales, it's tough, hard and only the strongest survives.

To whoever is reading this (if ever anyone does),

The moral of the story this post is to stay strong.

It's not the end of the world when you don't get your way.

Learn to see beyond your problems, there is an extraordinary world beyond your own bubble.

Remember,

Death does not solve problems, it just creates more heartache.

We live in a beautiful world! :)