Lost and found

Today, 25th March 2013, i lost someone who once mattered.

It's really over nothing significant, but once there's a small hole within a fabric, it's so easy to tear the whole thing apart.

I once thought that a friendship will grow stronger overtime, but today i realised the strength of a friendship is not determined by its length but by its depth.

Yet, today i've decided to change.

Since i'm tired of this endless competition, i will change myself, especially my mentality.

I no longer want to maintain a defeatist mentality, rather i want a never-say-die attitude.

I've realised that honestly, there's nothing really bad about my life.

Nobody's life is perfect but it's just how one chooses to view it, you can either enlarge the positive or choose to wallow in the negative.

I've been doing the latter for long enough, now's time to change.

Remember, it's not the end results that matter, rather it's what you've gained for the long run.

It's sad that a person whom you know became someone you knew, but missing is just part of moving on.

Maybe, letting go is all for the better.

Why hold on to something that never belonged to you in the first place?

Tomorrow, 26th March 2013, will be a new me.

September 2011

I never did have the courage to mention what happened during those days,

maybe because i was afraid of relieving those memories.

However, 1.5 years on, i believe i've came to terms with it.

Yes, i suffered from mild depression then. My mum even brought me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

People who has never suffered from depression won't ever understand the experience.

That sense of dread and bleakness.

I remember those few months were passed in tears and blackness.

I felt like i was trapped, in a dark pit hole with no escape.

No matter how i think about stuff, i can't find a way out.

Maybe it was due to school - new environment in Uni, but mostly, it was due to my skin illness.

I contemplated suicide. And that's why my mum decided to bring me see a psychiatrist.

I called the suicide helpline and talked to the lady for hours - she was really helpful but i thought that was all there was to it.

Because when you have depression, you won't listen to others. You are trapped within your own mentality - a cold, dark and hopeless place.

Everyday, i wake up with the hope for falling asleep again.

I skipped school for 2 wks straight during the semester, because i couldn't find the motivation to go.

I didn't study for mid terms at all - explains my poor results then.

But as with all bad times, things will improve.

Now, i firmly believe that when one hits rock bottom, there's no where to go but up.

Which is what happened in my case.

The moral of the story is, have hope, have faith.

Cooperate with those that are trying to help.

Fight that mental bleakness. It's hard, words are cheap i know

But if even you yourself are not willing to fight, there's no way out of it.

I fought, i struggled. Eventually, you'll win.

It's hope that makes the world go round. 

Hold on to that.

LIfe ahead'13

Hello!! It's already March, 3 months of 2013 has gone by.

Time really does fly, as we grow older.

The photo is taken at Veron's 21st Birthday Party!

This year is really the year of attending endless birthday parties and bankrupt from paying all the birthday presents :(

Oh well. I'm not gonna have one for mine. Haha 

It's a lot of work to organize one and $$$$.

I'm rather broke, considering i'l be going on 2 trips this year again!

Honestly, as i grow older, i realise i'm flying so very often.

Especially considering i'm not flying for work or sch, but just for leisure.

The last time i took a plane was in July'12 to Tokyo.

The next trip will be in June'13 to Shanghai!

Yes, i'm going back to Shanghai on 15th June - 24th.

And it's gonna be a rush as once i get back to SG,

I have about a week before i'll be embarking on my SEP in New ZeaLand. :)

I'm so freaking excited for the lower half of 2013.

Esp since this semester in sch hasn't been going very well

And i'm extremely unmotivated to study/write essays. :(

Guess my results and CAP will fall... sigh.

NUS takes the joy out of everything.

Oh well. Here i am typing out this post with some updates, when i have a mid term tmr that i have not 

started studying yet. =x

Toddles~~ Till the next time i log in. 

______________________________________

AHHHH.

Recently been so obsessed over the k-drama 'That winter, the wind blows'

Jo in sung is like THE ideal man.

Tall (186cm), Handsome (duh) and RICH (of course! Since he's an actor with all those endorsements)

Sad thing is, every fangirl takes him as their ideal man. :(

CALM YOUR FANGIRL HEART.

LOL.

xoxo,

Zy