Picnic @ Botanic Gardens!

Had a great time with Beth and Maria at Botanic Gardens today!

Went there for a mini picnic.

I brought sandwiches, Maria brought grapes (that was super super sweet and nice and she was so proud about LOL) and Beth provided the mat and chips and sausages. 

Botanic Gardens was so misty, it looked super surreal. 

Almost like 'Secret Garden' hahaha

And I am still amazed at S7's camera quality, it is super good!

Went Island Creamery for some post-meal desserts!

We asked for 2 scoops but the amount the generous scooper dished was crazy, way more than 2 scoops.

Thanks for making our money worth! Hahaha

Had a lot of meaningful conversations with Beth & Maria.

It was indeed quality time well-spent and I really enjoyed knowing more about people rather than superficial small talks. 

Shared my honest sentiments on making friends as an adult and how people are so guarded now. 

Sometimes, I wonder if my thinking of treating colleagues as friends is being too naive, because I sincerely believe we can make friends as adults. 

But, most people have already formed their inner circle of friends. 

Those who are attached perhaps are even more closed to meeting new people and making new friends. 

And I don't blame them, it is hard, freaking hard. 

This year, has been the most eventful year for me in terms of relationships till now. 

Been in a lot of one-sided friendships and it made me realise being friends as an adult, the relationship has to be organic, yet not passive. 

There must be one person that shows their vulnerability first and see if the other person reciprocates. 

I guess, the biggest take-away for me this year, is learning how to manage expectations, in every areas of my life. 

There are so many areas of life that are beyond my control now, esp when it comes to relationships.

The only things I can control, are my thoughts and my actions. 

Recently, there has been one person weighing on my mind:

Captain.

Not sure if it was just me, but during OBS I felt an odd sense of chemistry with him. 

Perhaps it was because he is really easy to get along with and he is pretty popular. 

Over the months, somehow unexpectedly, we started a friendship - mainly through going out to movies and eating dinner together etc. 

And, he was the first person who knew about the debacle with D in April.

Then, I cried over the phone to him. 

It was the first time I was so vulnerable in a long time, I can still clearly rmb my tears then. 

And maybe because he was very nice to me, somehow I started having expectations towards him: perhaps there's smth more? 

But, clearly there is nth more. haha

Captain had drawn the lines with me - we are friends and he is friends with everyone. 

Only... I'm not even sure how long this friendship will last. 

Because we don't have a clique, and our lives are too far apart. 

Together with the end of D's debacle, I feel that his part in my life is drawing to an end soon. 

A bit bittersweet, because I really like him as a person. 

Although captain looks beng-ish, I feel that he is a good person and a really loyal one too. 

And I learnt a lot from him, he may be one of the good things that happened to me for 2016. 

I hope sincerely that he will find his happiness soon. 

Thank you Captain. 

And now, I must let go.