Longest April Ever.

April 2016, felt like the longest April ever.
And I feel I need to jot this down, lest I forget the lessons I've learned.

So, I went for OBS on 31 Mar - 1 Apr and it was so fun!
An experience I will never forget - did my first trust fall, felt the unity as a team working towards a common goal, my first jetty jump! and also... met a few new friends, D in particular.

I can't rmb how it all escalated or when it escalated.
But what happened was we talked during the camp because we were one of the 2 chosen leaders (out of 6) to lead day 2's activities and there were a few periods where it was just the 2 of us.
He was particularly easy to talk to and so nonsensical hahaha.
So, when we were slacking in the aircon room, just the 2 of us, he mentioned smth about playing mahjong with his friends who stays in the West and I leaped up LOL, thinking it won't be too bad knowing a few new friends, and... I asked him for his number.
Thereafter, I took a pic for his friend using my phone and he told me to send it to him, and I did on the taxi ride home, thinking the texting won't last... but it did and went on to smth more.

The first wrong thing I did, was I called him first.
Maybe I was feeling daring and slightly flirtatious, so I called him and thereafter, it became daily late night calls from him.
The worst, and the one that sealed and escalated this whole deal, was the one that we chatted from 2am to 6am. =/
I confess, on hindsight, it was all wrong.
Why? Because, he literally just broke up with his gf. And he started confiding in me about everything - what went wrong with him and his ex, why they broke up etc.
And, within a short period of 2 weeks, I have went on 2 dates with him and he calls me every night literally - and i couldn't stop the tide.
It was all too fast and furious till i snapped - I felt like I was a rebound and I couldn't take it anymore.

So, I called him out and thrashed it - it is either friends or nth. I had to set things straight.
And, currently I feel everything is all good, he has stopped and we are clearly just friends.
But, I realised he taught me quite a few stuff about myself and what i want out of a relationship:

1) I'm an ITTM aka overthinker.

OMG. I was overthinking so much, now thinking back.
It almost drove me nuts too.

____________________________________________

31 Dec'16

Post-Script

I didn't finish this post then...
The ending, was something I expected, it had always been in my gut instincts.
It hurt, so badly then.
Because, I wondered why, why am I not the chosen one.

But, on hindsight, it was because of my need for validation, that made me so susceptible to narcissists like him.
I will leave this post, the way it was.
Because, it will be a lesson I want to remember.
Remember enough to not make the same mistake again.

Thank you, 2016.

Just came back from Shanghai! 

Was a whirlwind 6 days trip but I had a lot of fun~

Photo with my whole extended family!

It has been a long time since we could all gather under one roof, and I am very happy I ended the year with my family. 

The highlight of this trip must be Shanghai Disneyland! 

Haha this is the 3rd theme park I've been to in this year. 

Wasn't intending to go initially but Wen Wen Jie Jie took leave to go with us, I am very thankful to her and her bf for taking care of us. :) 

________________

2016 is coming to an end...

And wow, what a ride it has been.

I think, I've never had so much 'dramas' happening in my life till this year.

And also, so many 'firsts' in my life. 

I think, 2016 must be the year of growth for me & there's more to come. 

More than anything, I've learnt that the most important thing is to love yourself. 

好好爱自己，知道吗？不要和自己过不去。

 其实，真的没什么大不了。

 As for the whole year, I have nothing but gratefulness, for everything I went through. 

Because, through it all, I've learnt so much more about myself. 

It's all a growth journey, isn't it? 

Thankful to everyone I've met, especially those who stuck by me - Val and HD. 

I'm especially grateful towards HD, because the trip to HK was really a last min decision and it literally saved me.

Everything about the trip, healed me. 

They say everything happens for a reason.

People are like seasons, they come and go. 

I'm thankful and blessed for the constants.

Although I really miss HD, things have not been the same ever since he got attached.

But I'm really happy for him ^^

For 2017, I just want to find my inner peace and balance.

And more than anything, I want to be a confident and positive woman. 

Part of me is still struggling, because I will miss the innocent me. 

I will always choose to believe in the good of people, but I will learn to be wiser, in how much I give and people I let in. 

Most of all, I am thankful. 

谢谢你，钟韵。

你很勇敢，继续微笑知道吗？

Onwards yeah ~

2017, will be a brand new start. 

Special Moment

Treat it like a special moment.

Yeah, that's all there was.

It's ok to take a break, everything in its time.

At least it was a lesson learnt, culmination of this whole year's growth process.

Never be emotionally attached, to something that is never yours.

And, value yourself.

How a guy treats you, is how you deem yourself worthy to be treated.

So, thank you, for the fun date. ^^

Thank you, Zhong. For maturing.

It has been tough, but remain authentic no matter what society says.

Jiayou.