Longest April Ever.

April 2016, felt like the longest April ever.
And I feel I need to jot this down, lest I forget the lessons I've learned.

So, I went for OBS on 31 Mar - 1 Apr and it was so fun!
An experience I will never forget - did my first trust fall, felt the unity as a team working towards a common goal, my first jetty jump! and also... met a few new friends, D in particular.

I can't rmb how it all escalated or when it escalated.
But what happened was we talked during the camp because we were one of the 2 chosen leaders (out of 6) to lead day 2's activities and there were a few periods where it was just the 2 of us.
He was particularly easy to talk to and so nonsensical hahaha.
So, when we were slacking in the aircon room, just the 2 of us, he mentioned smth about playing mahjong with his friends who stays in the West and I leaped up LOL, thinking it won't be too bad knowing a few new friends, and... I asked him for his number.
Thereafter, I took a pic for his friend using my phone and he told me to send it to him, and I did on the taxi ride home, thinking the texting won't last... but it did and went on to smth more.

The first wrong thing I did, was I called him first.
Maybe I was feeling daring and slightly flirtatious, so I called him and thereafter, it became daily late night calls from him.
The worst, and the one that sealed and escalated this whole deal, was the one that we chatted from 2am to 6am. =/
I confess, on hindsight, it was all wrong.
Why? Because, he literally just broke up with his gf. And he started confiding in me about everything - what went wrong with him and his ex, why they broke up etc.
And, within a short period of 2 weeks, I have went on 2 dates with him and he calls me every night literally - and i couldn't stop the tide.
It was all too fast and furious till i snapped - I felt like I was a rebound and I couldn't take it anymore.

So, I called him out and thrashed it - it is either friends or nth. I had to set things straight.
And, currently I feel everything is all good, he has stopped and we are clearly just friends.
But, I realised he taught me quite a few stuff about myself and what i want out of a relationship:

1) I'm an ITTM aka overthinker.

OMG. I was overthinking so much, now thinking back.
It almost drove me nuts too.

____________________________________________

31 Dec'16

Post-Script

I didn't finish this post then...
The ending, was something I expected, it had always been in my gut instincts.
It hurt, so badly then.
Because, I wondered why, why am I not the chosen one.

But, on hindsight, it was because of my need for validation, that made me so susceptible to narcissists like him.
I will leave this post, the way it was.
Because, it will be a lesson I want to remember.
Remember enough to not make the same mistake again.