26

So... I turn 26 today!

For the past 2 years, I've spent my birthday overseas.

There wasn't much fanfare this year, in fact it doesn't even feel like it's my birthday...

But, it's one of my fav and most memorable one.

Celebration part 1 was going for omakase at Sushi Kou.

It was my first time trying out omakase and the experience was good, it was really like slowwww dining lol.

Fresh Sashimi! 

Tried this sake... and I was tipsy after just 3 shots lol

Either I've not drank for quite some time or the alcohol was way too strong (55%)

Birthday Celebration Part II with Fam!

Dad went all the way to Don Don Donki to get Wagyu beef and Lady M cakes.

Feel so blessed ^^

Thanks to all those who remembers little me's birthday and wished me Happy Birthday. 

Forever thankful for the constants - Val, Pam, Jess, Bok, Hilda and my family. 

我很幸福，因为有你们。

***

Haven't updated this space in awhile. 

For my birthday this year, the person I'm most thankful for is AK. 

Thanks for everything you've done for me.

After 1.5 years on CMB and going through too many dates that ends nowhere, after awhile I was kinda using it for fun tbh. 

And after my breakup, the app became my source of distraction.

I'm not proud of it, but it worked to a certain extent in aiding me to move on. 

So on a whim, I jio-ed AK to go Macritchie for a hike lol. 

What I thought would be a quick 1 hr hike to the tree top walk became a 3.5 hrs hike -.-'''

And the idiot had to leave the fact its his birthday till the end of the day zzz

But, it was fun haha

Even then, I thought it would end off around there. 

I think, the losses I've experienced in the past 2 yrs really taught me how to manage my expectations. 

I guess that's one thing good that came out of it all.

The world no longer revolves around me.

I used to fight against growing up a lot, I hate how there's so many thing beyond our control esp when it comes to relationships. 

Now, I've reached a certain sense of acceptance - that sometimes things don't turn out the way we want to, no matter how hard we try.

The downside is I don't dare to give my heart away fully again. 

I've always had trust issues and pain aggravated it.

 I can no longer fall in love as freely & deeply as I used to. 

So, random non-committal chats with strangers on dating apps seem to be the way to go lol.

Until AK comes along

Tbh, I feel we are the oddest match ever... 

we have no common interests, he is from sci and me from arts, I am a strong F while he is a T to the max, I'm kinda an ambivert while he is quite introverted...

I find him weird lol but maybe its precisely the differences that piqued my interests?

One thing led to another... and we've been dating the past 1 month. 

One thing I've learnt from my previous rs is how detrimental comparison is. 

So, I really consciously tried not to compare him to my ex. 

Even so, there were instances when I get reminded of him and I can't help myself. 

One thing is the pace of the rs... I feel its going too fast. 

Another, is sometimes his spontaneity makes him a bit reckless...

Although AK has been attentive and places me as a priority so far.

Somehow, he feels too good to be true... 

And anything too good to be true, usually comes at a very heavy price. 

My insecurity eats me up inside.

I can't help but presume an expiry date to it.

Falling in love is a really scary thing

Can you ever really know someone? 

But I think at the crux of it all, it comes down to my own fear.

I don't know if I'll be able to handle another heartbreak. 

Happy Birthday Zhong. 

请保留你的赤子之心。