Haven't bare my soul out in awhile, think that's part and parcel of growing up.
I read this quote recently:
'Just because you are nice, doesn't mean you are a good person'.
Growing up, I have a lot of troubles coming to terms with a lot of things.
And the biggest of all, is perhaps bearing the consequences of my decisions
Why? Because I'm not good at handling the truth.
And the truth is... I have a lot to improve on as a gf.
I was mad pissed at the things B wrote when we ended, but looking back, there were some truths (although not all)...
And those truths were reiterated, when things ended between AK and I.
Some things are better left as skeletons in the closet.
But I'm not proud of them. And the realisation of the things I can do.
I told Val, I'm very surprised by who I can be.
And she replied - surprise surprise! Hurt people hurts people.
It shouldn't be a justification for hurting others.
But many of human actions are driven subconsciously anw.
We may think we are not hurting another, but are we really?
For the rest of what's left of 2018, I'm going to train up my discipline.
And that... includes cutting some pple off from my life.
And learn to be an ethical asshole on my climb up to pick up my self worth.
Tbh, the reminiscents of my past rs(s) was a broken heart and lost sense of self worth.
I'm thoroughly battered.
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