sometimes...
you'll only cherish things when you lose them...
i learnt that the hard way...
nt only once but twice...
i dun wanna make the same mistake thrice...
if possible i wanna everything to start again since primary two...


i will spend quality time wif you...
won't make you angry anymore...
won't command you to do anything...
n be the same bubbly gal tat you once knew...
i won't be so naive...
n make you hurt...

if possible...
i would have told you the truth...
but i didn't...
wif the intentions tat its for your own gd...


too late...
its too late for anything when it happened so suddenly...
too sudden...
i juz put down everything n flew bac...
without even knowing wat happened...
when i saw you lying there...
i couldn't cry...
everybody say i'm heartless...
but i was numb from the pain...
so numb tat i juz stood there while dad pushed me...


tat's pri 3...
but the same fate happened again...
this time...
i prayed so hard...
for a miracle to happen...
i shed so much tears...
juz to let you live...
but i am so useless...
the same thing happened the next morning...
you went to sleep...
n never to wake up again...
.
.
.
.

i juz wanna say sorry...
n to ask you all not to worry bout me...
i'll tide through all the problems tat comes my way...
n won't let down all your hopes on me...
i love you both...
forever n ever...

perhaps i shouldn't think too much...
perhaps i should juz live the way i want...
.
.
.
.

went joanne's condo today...
sooo fun...
we went westmall first to meet val n also to buy something...
then we went joanne condo...
did a little bit of homework...
then we went swimming!!!


swim from 3 something to 6 something!!!
then went steam room...
so stuffy!!!
but cool...
joanne was counting how long me n val took to bathe...
though val came out first...
but she went in first...
lol...


then ate joanne's mee...
so spicy!!!
caused me to drink sooo much water...
lol...


on the way back...
val recorded down how she sing...
it was soooo stupid...
n when she heard how she sing...
she can't stop laughing...
all the pple on the bus were looking at her...
she's that crazy!!!
somemore force me...
say i muz sing too...
lol...


gtg...
bb...
.
.
.
.
perhaps someday when i wake up...
it will all be juz a nightmare...

I wonder wats happening to me...
nowadays keep logging in n out of blogger...
1 sec i wanna type something...
the next i juz wanna keep everything inside myself...

i'm living for others right now...
can't even do the things tat i like...
keep getting councilled by my parents...
at the maths test yesterday...
i didn't do finish...
i didn't even think...
n juz sat there n cried...


i really hope to get over it...
but i can't...
i'm sooooo confused...
wif everything tat's happening...
perhaps i'm juz a shell that goes to sch everyday...
without my soul...
perhaps i'll be able to understand wats happening someday...
without going over the same routine again...