Sometimes, losing is winning

Thanks Jason.

I needed this.

Brain or Heart?

I was a girl who used to follow my heart. 

But somewhere along the way, I realised that following the heart creates more suffering. 

Following the heart is not for everyone, it is for those who are passionate enough, who are strong enough to carry through what their heart calls for. For those souls who are courageous enough. 

Hence, I took the 'easier' path. 

I decided to follow my brain. 

I figured, being rational is always a plus in life - you make the decision that is best suited for you based on pros and cons. 

But, I realised. 

There is an opportunity cost too. 

Because the brain will never make you choose something or someone that causes hurt, the brain will always rationalise your choices based on the one with the most benefit to you. 

But, life is not so black and white. 

In any relationships, there is bond to be suffering and hurt on top of the sweetness and support. 

Following the brain, will then make you lose out. On possibilities and opportunities that are rare encounters once in a lifetime. 

How many times do you actually fall in love in a lifetime? 

How many times do 2 person, fall in love at the right time and moment? 

That leap of faith, requires the heart to roar and take control. 

So now, I am just a confused girl. 

Caught in the brain-heart tag of war. 

Or rather, trying to find a balance between the two. 

Life's so hard, relationships are so complicated. 

Today, I hate growing up.  

啟程

Today, marks the start of a few new journeys.

1) Hot Yoga

Went for hot yoga trial with Val & Pam early in the morning.

And it was pretty fun! I loved the post-stretching feeling (although the process was painful)

And I have never sweat so much before, even when I run. 

The room temperature was increased to 38 degrees and we were stretching with sweat literally dripping off our faces LOL

But it was an experience and we are thinking of even signing up a package for it.

Except.... the price is a bit steep. Haha

After which, we went JP for lunch and went to another fitness all under one roof branch to check out their packages. 

They did a body fat test for us and omg, apparently I need to build up 11kg worth of muscle mass LOLLLLL

Shows I am really skinny-fat :(

I'm apparently borderline underweight but my body fats index is quite high. 

Sigh.... need to gym and exercise more. 

Goal for 2016-2017: Build muscles and achieve a perfect body!

2) Closing of one, and the start of a new journey

Bumped into D and his ex at the cinemas when Val was intending to purchase movie tickets. 

My first instinct was to turn away and run, which is so freaking stupid on hindsight. 

After that, I did walk back, intending to say hi if i see them but they weren't there anymore. 

Not that it matters, because after thinking it through post-adrenaline rush, I realised it didn't matter at all. 

I was angry, at being treated like a fool. 

But, it takes 2 hands to clap doesn't it? Being treated like a fool by him also implies I gave him permission to in the first place. 

By not establishing firm boundaries. 

Nope, not gonna happen twice. 

I learnt a lot throughout this 2 months, and this I only have him to thank. 

But for now, I'm done with wishy-washy guys and unnecessary drama. 

Onwards, to better things (& guys hopefully) 

:)

Sick x 2

So... I only worked 1 day for this week.
Because, I was sick and had 4 days MC at one go LOL
That is like the average for CDG per year and I cleared it at one go.
#weakgirl HAHAHA

I think it is a premonition or a curse.
Before I entered my current company, I also had a high fever.
And now, another bout of high fever and flu out of nowhere.
It must be something in the air ~~~ hmm or maybe a sign hahaha

I have been sleeping so much this past few days and spending so much time at home,
it feels like a throwback to uni days and I kind of miss it.
Except during uni days I will be rushing assignments or readings most of the time at home.
I brought my work laptop home, intending to clear some work.
BUT my vpn refuses to connect zzzz
meaning I don't have access to my outlook or anything = useless.

So, i'm up and thinking of what I should do with my life.
LOL such luxury of time when actually I have tons of work to follow-up on.

_______________________________________________

Sometimes things fade out not by the lack of action but by too much desire to make something work.
And maybe that's how the situation is now.
Somehow, things have been slowly changing this past 2 weeks, or maybe even earlier.
Not sure if it is a good thing or bad thing, but I am strangely quite at peace with the whole situation.
Haha maybe it is a self-fulfilling prophecy driving itself, or maybe things are meant to be this way.
Who knows?

Time, time will tell.