咖啡卡特儿以及粉丝的利害。

Ok, so SEA is over!
3 more papers to go!
Sigh.

Need to wake up at 6am for the next 2 days to mug my ass off for IH, maths and Chem.
On a brighter note, i think i should blog about happier stuff.
Like things that actually happen in my life instead of emo stuffs.
>.<

So today, after our SEA paper, which i didn't finish AGAIN,
me and Hilda went to Makan at Cafe Cartel at IMM.
2nd time me and Hilda went there!
I think it's super worthwhile to eat with Hilda, coz she's super aunty.
=x
HAHAHA

Cafe cartel have this 'free flow of bread' policy and Hilda ALWAYS makes sure she exploits it to her best capabilities.
LOL!!!
I remember the first time we went, we only ordered one full set with free flow of bread, but we took 2 full baskets.
o.O
Hilda said that was the true definition of 'free flow'.
HAHAHA
we were the only 2 doing that.

Anw, they have this magazine section and today, i took one of the 'Teenage' magazine and the both of us were reading it over lunch.
Well, at least i was, and i was really reading it out loud to her.
There was this aunt agony section and, not meant to be rude, both of us were laughing over some articles.
Ok, maybe we were judging them through their problems.
But admit it, i bet everyone thought some other's problem were insignificant, until that happens to you yourself, that is.

It just seems funny to me, how naive some of those people were.
They are still so young, (some were at age 13??!!) and they were contemplating suicide and cutting themselves.
One of them couldn't handle the stress of PSLE.
I mean, seriously?
I bet A levels is 10x worse than PSLE.

I admit that the stress and pressure on children/students are building up,
and i am lucky to not have parents adding on to my pressures,
但是, 现代的年轻一族也未免太懦弱了吧。
还真的是‘草莓组’，只会议靠父母。
当然，这并不是在特意针对任何一人或全部，
还是有努力，坚持，勇敢面对困难的。

Of course, this is also a self-reminder, that i'm blessed and i need to be stronger!
Don't hide away from problems, confront them.
That's gonna be my goal!!!

After the meal, we were literally mobbed by 'fans'.
HAHAHA
Obviously not fans of us, but fans of Be3t, that Korean pop group.
And i was wondering why there were sooooooo many teenagers at IMM today.
They practically filled the whole of IMM, inner and outer.
Security guards were everywhere!
The power of Fans, something i've only seen on shows, i experienced it today.
Remarkable.
;)

A.I : Artificial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligence
Personally, it's one of my favourite movies of all time.
I've watched it 3 times and it never fails to make me tear every single time.
The first time i watched it, i cried for 30 mins after the movie ended.
HAHA
A tad too dramatic but i was super emotional and touched by David's love for her Mum, monica.

The story is set in the future, when the world is flooded due to the dire consequences of global warming.
Humanity was drastically reduced and technology was at its peak with Artificial Intelligence aka robots (Mechas) being mass produced.
David is the main character, a Mecha boy produced that is able to love humans and he was sent as an experimental prototype to Monica and Henry, whom have a son, Martin, that was in a coma and have low hopes of ever recovering.

The climax of the whole movie came about when Martin recovered and a serious of unfortunate events arise that forced Monica to come to a decision to abandon David.
David thus went on an adventure to find the 'Blue Fairy' from Pinocchio as he believed Monica abandoned him because he was not real.
The Blue Fairy would be able to make him real, just like pinocchio and then, his mum will love him again.

Of course, the blue fairy does not exist.
He found the blue fairy eventually [ a statue underwater, seemed to be disneyland ]
and pleaded with her to turn him into a real boy...
and so, he pleaded for 2000 years.
Mechas were the only beings left and some of them granted him his wish by trying to regenerate his mom using a lock of hair from Monica.
However, it failed and Monica was only able to live for 1 day.
That day, was the best day of David's life.
:)

I always end up crying at the last part of the movie.
Where David spent one whole day with his mum.
He spent his whole life trying to find someone that doesn't exist to make something impossible happen, David can never become a real boy.
Monica love him, but she just don't know how to love a Mecha.
Honestly, anyone in the same situation as her will choose her own son, a real person, over a Mecha.
How can you love someone that's a robot, even if he looked so real?

' That was the everlasting moment he had been waiting for. And the moment had passed, for Monica was sound asleep. More than merely asleep. Should he shake her she would never rouse. So David went to sleep too. And for the first time in his life, he went to that place where dreams are born. '
- A.I

Blessed.

I'm 18!!!!!!! :D
HAHAHAHA

So before this day is over, i just want to express my sincere thanks to all this wonderful souls:

Chinhwee, Joanne, Eunice, Pamela, Valerie, Yulin, Xiao Qian, Li er, Jocelyn, ChunJing, Wanen,
WanJia, Jason, Eugene, Kenneth, ZhengHan, Mandy, Sinlin, Josephine, Poh Hui, Daisy, Chun Yan, Fiona, ZiJia, Grace,Jessica, KongYong, RuiTing, MiaoLing, KimChi, Germaine, Yiyin, Shalaka, Molina, Jiaqiang, SiWen, AJ, Vanessa Zavier, Vanessa and ChernPing for their Birthday wishes!!!!! :D
[I hope i didn't miss out any names =x ]

Special Thanks to:
Liew Suping!!!! For remembering my birthday!!! HAHAHA
Shuqin! For your beautiful Helen's earrings and Hand-made card! :D
HuiGe! For your small card and lollipops! ;)
Jacy! <3 For your earrings and Hand-made card too! The words touched my heart! :)
Bok, Hilda and Sabrina! <3<3<3 For eating breakfast with me, for rushing that card out and just for being there. I love you guys!!!!!!

And of course, to my family members : Daddy, Mummy, Erik, Joyce and Aunt [ Who smsed all the way from china ] <3


I feel sooooo blessed.
It might not be the best birthday ever, but, it's a birthday which i will rmb. HAHAHA

:)

18.

Couldn't resist putting this picture up, simple coz the little girl is so cute! :)

Did both econs and Gp paper yesterday.
Yes, i survived both.
However, It was so horribly done that i can't imagine my results. :(
I think i've never done so badly before.
Aurgh.
Still trying to get myself to forget about it and move on.

____________________________________________________

In another 3.5 hrs time, it will be my 18th birthday.
Honestly, i'm not looking forward to it...
For one simple reason: I'm turning one year older and 18 years old marks the growth from a young girl to a woman.
Which i'm not and still not prepared for.

I think being 17 must be the greatest age of all.
18 just..... sounds so old.
I'm just 2 yrs away from 2o!
Notice how my age will start with 2, sigh.

Went shopping by myself today.
I treat it as a form of retail therapy, although most of the things that i bought are tolietries.
HAHAHA
Speaking of which, our GP comprehension passage was about Loners and why loners are better than being in a community.
I found it.... hmmm..... insightful.
I mean, i can't believe there are people out there who side with loners.
Notice, it's 'loners' and not being alone only at times.
I do agree we need personal space but the author's definition of loners was those who choose to distance themselves from others.
Not saying her stand is wrong, it did give me another perspective on things.

Tomorrow, 27th May'10, my 18th year on earth,
I will be spending the whole day in school and then Tan Tock Seng hospital at night.
Planning to do good deeds on my birthday to make it eventful.
HAHAHA


P.S For once, no expectations. For once, i just want to enjoy tomorrow to the best i can.
I really hate how birthdays lose their magical touch as you grow older.
Well, i guess everything else does. So we just make the best out of everything we can.

Till then!
:)

Freaking out.

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I'm literally freaking myself out!!!!

What if i dun know how to do any essay qs tmr??
What if i just write out of point or forget everything?
What if i flunk Gp and Econs??

:'(

Sob.

I need a break. Why is A levels so freaking demanding?????





I Can Do This.

无能为力。

It's one of those days, where nostalgia takes its toll on me.
Sometimes, i really wish i can be less sentimental.
My greatest strength is also my greatest weakness.

I really don't wish to brood on the past any longer.
I've learnt that people change and people leave, nothing remains constant and things change.
The idea is easy to grasp, theoretically.
In reality, it's easier said than done.

It hurts, to know what we've become and how we can't ever go back to how we were in the past.
It hurts even more, for me to pretend at times, that i don't care.
When in fact i care, more than ever.

Sometimes i wish i can forget the past and start my life anew, in a place where no one knows me.

I'm in this state of constant fear.
And the thing i fear the most, is failure and rejection.
Which is the main reason why i remain silent.

I really wish i can be a stronger person.
But i'm in this situation where i don't even know who i am and what i want.
I'm confused, by life.

Sometimes, i reflect upon who's left in my life.
And i realised, i don't really have any friend whom i can truly rely on.
.
..
...
.......
...
..
.
At times, i feel blessed.
At least, i think i should.
I have a wonderful family, i have all 4 limbs, i can see, hear, taste, i have a roof over my head.
And i feel guilty, for being unhappy and whining about the slightest things.

Sometimes, i wonder why people are always leaving my life.
Is it because i don't seem to make any effort?
Or is it just because i didn't make any significant impact in any of your lives?
Is it because, i'm so easily forgettable?
.
..
.....
.........
....
..
.

I really wish i can remain a child forever.
I really wish i don't have to grow up.
I really wish someone can remain in my life and be the friend i never had.
I really wish i can stop expecting so much.
I really wish i can figure out who i am and what i want.
I really wish i can stop fearing.
I really wish, i can be happy.


我很想念小时候，真得很想念以前的你，钟韵。

Doubt.

Sometimes, i doubt myself.
I wonder if i can make it.
I wonder if what i'm doing is right.
And most importantly, i wonder if miracles can happen.

Is it inevitable that people drift apart? If love or friendship can’t withstand time, then I guess it was never meant to be? Or is it me that people always leave?