I've often felt that this friendship seems like a relationship,
Not that i'm homo or bisexual.
But it's just so many yrs together, so many cherished memories.
Spending almost all your waking moments with her,
going through changes in adolescent yrs.
I really hoped with all my might that things would be different.

We've been through so many ups and downs,
and often,
i'll persuade myself to let it be during those rough times, coz things always work out at the end.
But this time, it's different.

In the past, i'll always be the one letting go.
and eventually the situation is salvaged coz you held on.
This time, you are the one letting go.
And there's no returning.

I want to build a time machine,
and go back in time,
and trap us at the moment when we first met.
Coz that moment never changes, the pure and naive beginnings of a friendship.

Shldn't sec. sch friends be those that you keep for life?
I don't know, i seriously don't.

What's wrong with me.
I teared at the sms,
it hurts, so terribly when i rmbered all those memories.

I want to forget them.
But the harder i try, the more i rmb.
I'm a failure.
In every possible aspects of life.

I can't keep a single friend,
I can't lead,
I can't score well in exams,
I can't play the piano well,
I can't even live my life without being worried every other second.

Ever played sims before?
You get to choose the character's personality and characteristics.
If there was this option during my birth,
I would never have chosen coward.

Coz that's what i am now.
A complete coward that can't stop deluding herself, running away and at the end of the day, wallowing in my own sadness.
This is me.
And you don't know how hard i've tried to get rid of my cowardness.
But like my dad once said, it's inculcated into me.
There's no way i can change my personality.

I guess i'm not trying hard enough.
But i really dunno how to go about my life from this second on.
You're gone.