Today's 21st May,
& in another 6 days time,
i'll be 17.

Somehow, there's no anticipation for this years' birthday.
Instead, i sort of dread it and can't wait for it to pass.
With birthdays, it rises my expectations.
Expectations for certain people's well-wishes, presents etc.
& i'm afraid of disappointment.

It hurts when people that matters to you forgets your birthday,
& then you realise, you don't matter to them at all.

I always make the effort to remember people's birthdays,
because i know a simple effort of wishing them,
would brighten up their day.
This goes the same for me.

& that's also the reason i wish my birthday would pass by faster.
Life resumes as normal afterwhich.
I know i should not harbor any thoughts for my birthday,
just treat it like any other day and don't demand much from others.

But i'm only human afterall.
Saying is easy, doing is tough.
Even if i say so, it's only a facade.
Deep down, i really crave for some acknowledgements for my day.

Friends enter and leave, it's the footprints they left behind that matters.
Till today, even though most of the pain had subsided,
I still have the sudden urge occasionally to call you.
Simply coz i still miss you a lot.

Both you and me didn't change, its the environment and circumstances that had changed.
Nothing's changed, yet everything is not the same anymore.
I really detest changes, i yearn for a simple and mundane life.

& i finally realised,
no matter how much things changes, how many new friends i'll make,
you'll always have a special place in my heart.
Because, you matter a lot to me.
In the past, present and future.