最幸福的2018

The past 3 months have been a whirlwind of exhilarating events and many firsts...

Oct - Taiwan'18
It's been 8 years since I went TW
and the country is even more beautiful than I remembered

Sunset at Taichung's Gao Mei Wetlands

Tip for those heading beyond Taipei, best to self drive or get a chartered bus if travelling in a larger group...

The public transport in this areas are not as developed (no MRTs) and bus services were at 20 mins intervals.

Hence Hilda and I almost cabbed everywhere, we spent so much on cabs

The trip to Gao Mei Wetlands cost 1800NTD to and fro (98SGD), but the view was so worth it #noregrets

Highlight of the trip was staying at this pretty B&B halfway up Alishan!
It was so tranquil and pretty...
Totally recommend! I was a bit sad we had to leave after 2 nights, would totally hope to stay longer.
The host told us that the longest a Singaporean had stayed was for 1 week! Just to destress and lead a slower pace of life...

Say hi to LuLu~ miss this cutie meow

Highlight of the trip must be waking up at 3am to catch the sunrise on Alishan peak

And the best thing I brought along on this trip is...a selfie stick HAHAHA

It's so useful for taking photos above mass crowd's hands/cameras and heads >.<

Although we have travelled a few times to Taiwan, Japan, Vietnam and S.Korea, this is the first time it's just the 2 of us.

And I must say, it turned out better than I expected!

Think is because both of us are quite easy-going, that's the most impt when travelling with friends. 

Nov Weddings

11.11.18 Hui Min and Zhiyong's wedding

Was my virgin bridesmaid experience!
The night before I stayed over at HM's sis place coz her place is toooo far from mine.
Literally one end of the island to the other >.<

The bridesmaids squad:

Joyce, Me, Kymberly, Lynn, Evon 

And groomsmen squad...

We were making them eat 酸甜苦辣 here

HM made me the gatecrash IC and it was so fun! muahahhaa

If you think about it, gatecrashes are the only time bridesmaid are given the 'rights' to 作弄别人

Oops

And the happy couple! 

Half-way through the photoshoot session, HM's veil fell and we did an 恶作剧之吻and made ZY wear the veil hahahaha

With the HDB peeps who attended the wedding!

***

17.11.18 Hui Juan & Wilvin's Wedding

大坏蛋成人妻咯！

Happy for her :)

but the wedding session itself was quite a torture for me to sit through...

Coz Bug was there zzzz 

but, luckily that should be last time I'll need to see my ex-boss

巴迪

Mr DK.
Where should I start?
We matched on CMB on 9 Nov, he spoke to me on 12 Nov.

He is the kindest, most respectful and 细心guy I've met from my 2 years of dating.
And it wasn't even from how he treats me, but how he treats others.
On our first date, a little boy got lost in the Artsci museum and started crying behind us.
I brought the little boy to find the museum staff for assistance and when I went back, he wasn't at his original place.
I called and to my surprise, he went around looking for parents who are looking for their child.

For dinner, he brought me to 'Signs a Taste of Vietnam Pho' at midpoint orchard, opened by a deaf couple.
While waiting for our food, he suddenly asked me if I know what's the hand signal for thank you?
I didn't, but he did.
Apparently, he googled on our way to the place so that he can hand signal to the couple.
That moment, I was awestruck by his attentiveness.

From then, we've met for 10 times. 

He has been to 2 dog adoption drives with me, we've been on movie dates, bowling date, Christmas gift exchange... 

But, this feeling is not how I've felt before. 

Towards him, I don't have butterflies in stomach feeling. 

It's... comforting and secure, a feeling I've not had before. 

Meeting him, may be the best thing that has happened in 2018. 

One year ago, I would never imagine I will be happy again... but here I am. 

He opened my eyes, that there are still kind, respectful and considerate man out there. 

So, thank you 巴迪 for everything.

谢谢你让我的2018年画下幸福的句号。

Zoe

So this happened....

X

#achievementunlocked 

过去式

1am. Late night thoughts.

Haven't bare my soul out in awhile, think that's part and parcel of growing up. 

I read this quote recently: 

'Just because you are nice, doesn't mean you are a good person'. 

Growing up, I have a lot of troubles coming to terms with a lot of things. 

And the biggest of all, is perhaps bearing the consequences of my decisions  

Why? Because I'm not good at handling the truth.

And the truth is... I have a lot to improve on as a gf. 

I was mad pissed at the things B wrote when we ended, but looking back, there were some truths (although not all)...

And those truths were reiterated, when things ended between AK and I. 

Some things are better left as skeletons in the closet. 

But I'm not proud of them. And the realisation of the things I can do. 

I told Val, I'm very surprised by who I can be.

And she replied - surprise surprise! Hurt people hurts people.

It shouldn't be a justification for hurting others.

But many of human actions are driven subconsciously anw. 

We may think we are not hurting another, but are we really? 

For the rest of what's left of 2018, I'm going to train up my discipline. 

And that... includes cutting some pple off from my life. 

And learn to be an ethical asshole on my climb up to pick up my self worth. 

Tbh, the reminiscents of my past rs(s) was a broken heart and lost sense of self worth. 

I'm thoroughly battered. 

Sweet As

Officially declare Godiva ice cream as my fav ice cream everrrr

Had my first Godiva ice cream today from my boss and it's so good ~

hehe

Today was a simple, yet good day

Had no dinner at home and AK volunteered to meet me half way btw our homes for dinner

and we had a simple hawker centre meal before he sent me home 

Although at times he is super irritating (like throwing rubbish in my bag bleh)

but he also always send me home after meeting me

wishes me morning and good night every day

cook for me meals

let me go out with my friends

Things that I didn't have in the past

Maybe this is enough...

后来的我们

刚看完了刘若英的处女作品《后来的我们》

故事大纲让我想起了她的歌 《后来》

‘后来我终算学会了如何去爱，可惜你早已远去，消失在人海 ’

10年，2人的感情纠缠

最终，还是以不幸做结尾

果真，不幸才是故事

但，真的是不幸吗？

就如小晓说的，如果他们当时真的结婚，现在也许已经离婚了

如果当时小晓没走，见清也许就会继续堕落下去，也不会拥有现在的一切

其实，人生最美好的事物都是短暂的

因为现实的柴米油盐会消灭爱情的幻想

往往最后成家的那位，并不是最爱的那位

其实最后学会怎样爱，就是成熟了

知道自己要什么，能接受什么，能给对方什么

也知道其实爱情并不是全部

到了那天，也许就是幸福的开始吧

My constant

My constant, thank you for being you. 

New friendship level unlocked - when you attend your good friend sis's wedding.

Waiting for the photos from Pam before sharing it here. 

But I'm so happy for her elder sis Eileen and new Bro-in-law Jeffrey.

Although I'm not close to them, but when the vid played during the wedding on how they met (sec sch friends and they dated for 9 years!), what sacrifices each of them have done for each other (Jeffrey took care of Eileen in a wheelchair/clutches when they went TW with her having an injured leg)... 

#truelove

It's easy to fall in love, easy to stay in love when everything's fun and good

but true love is when shit hit the fan, on days when the 2 of you are screaming at each other and seeing the worst of each other yet still choosing the other every single day...

that's when you know he/she is the one. 

* * *

Had some slight unhappiness with AK over the phone just now. 

I wasn't angry, just maybe slightly irritated. 

Knew he was having a headache, so I just left it at that. 

Choosing your battles wisely, that's what i've learnt. 

But I was pleasantly surprised when he called back, 

saying he was sorry and he shouldn't have been angry. 

It's such a breath of fresh air, from what I've experienced in my past rs. 

I really didn't know what to expect, or rather I've learnt to tame my expectations.

But, thank you AK.

My heart is full tonight. 

Goodnight world xoxo

26

So... I turn 26 today!

For the past 2 years, I've spent my birthday overseas.

There wasn't much fanfare this year, in fact it doesn't even feel like it's my birthday...

But, it's one of my fav and most memorable one.

Celebration part 1 was going for omakase at Sushi Kou.

It was my first time trying out omakase and the experience was good, it was really like slowwww dining lol.

Fresh Sashimi! 

Tried this sake... and I was tipsy after just 3 shots lol

Either I've not drank for quite some time or the alcohol was way too strong (55%)

Birthday Celebration Part II with Fam!

Dad went all the way to Don Don Donki to get Wagyu beef and Lady M cakes.

Feel so blessed ^^

Thanks to all those who remembers little me's birthday and wished me Happy Birthday. 

Forever thankful for the constants - Val, Pam, Jess, Bok, Hilda and my family. 

我很幸福，因为有你们。

***

Haven't updated this space in awhile. 

For my birthday this year, the person I'm most thankful for is AK. 

Thanks for everything you've done for me.

After 1.5 years on CMB and going through too many dates that ends nowhere, after awhile I was kinda using it for fun tbh. 

And after my breakup, the app became my source of distraction.

I'm not proud of it, but it worked to a certain extent in aiding me to move on. 

So on a whim, I jio-ed AK to go Macritchie for a hike lol. 

What I thought would be a quick 1 hr hike to the tree top walk became a 3.5 hrs hike -.-'''

And the idiot had to leave the fact its his birthday till the end of the day zzz

But, it was fun haha

Even then, I thought it would end off around there. 

I think, the losses I've experienced in the past 2 yrs really taught me how to manage my expectations. 

I guess that's one thing good that came out of it all.

The world no longer revolves around me.

I used to fight against growing up a lot, I hate how there's so many thing beyond our control esp when it comes to relationships. 

Now, I've reached a certain sense of acceptance - that sometimes things don't turn out the way we want to, no matter how hard we try.

The downside is I don't dare to give my heart away fully again. 

I've always had trust issues and pain aggravated it.

 I can no longer fall in love as freely & deeply as I used to. 

So, random non-committal chats with strangers on dating apps seem to be the way to go lol.

Until AK comes along

Tbh, I feel we are the oddest match ever... 

we have no common interests, he is from sci and me from arts, I am a strong F while he is a T to the max, I'm kinda an ambivert while he is quite introverted...

I find him weird lol but maybe its precisely the differences that piqued my interests?

One thing led to another... and we've been dating the past 1 month. 

One thing I've learnt from my previous rs is how detrimental comparison is. 

So, I really consciously tried not to compare him to my ex. 

Even so, there were instances when I get reminded of him and I can't help myself. 

One thing is the pace of the rs... I feel its going too fast. 

Another, is sometimes his spontaneity makes him a bit reckless...

Although AK has been attentive and places me as a priority so far.

Somehow, he feels too good to be true... 

And anything too good to be true, usually comes at a very heavy price. 

My insecurity eats me up inside.

I can't help but presume an expiry date to it.

Falling in love is a really scary thing

Can you ever really know someone? 

But I think at the crux of it all, it comes down to my own fear.

I don't know if I'll be able to handle another heartbreak. 

Happy Birthday Zhong. 

请保留你的赤子之心。

人生如戏

This weekend, was one of the longest for me.

And not sure if fate is signalling me, it has been the most coincidental weekend ever.

On Fri night, I watched B walk past me, as I sat eating Hojicha ice cream with GBB. 

It was the oddest sensation ever, coz I didn't expect to see him walk past, with a bunch of new faces that I didn't know. 

I stared, till he was long gone.

And then, GBB asked me what I was staring at, I just said, I saw my ex walk past. 

8 months ago, I rejected GBB coz of B. 

8 months later, I was sitting with GBB as B walked past. 

Someone who was once everything to me, now relegated to a stranger. 

That night, I went home thinking about a lot of things - of how fate can be a joke. If the ice cream place we went was not full, we would not have wandered to Orchard central to sit and then I would not have seen him... 

Fast forward to Saturday night. 

I watched Ready Player One (which is such an awesome movie, Steven Spielberg doesn't disappoint) with Kai Sheng and gang, and the movie ended so late that I missed the last train home. 

But, thanks to this early train closures, I went home with a stranger, who coincidentally stays right at the HDB blocks next to my house. 

So, we took the shuttle and grab ride home. Throughout the journey, it was very easy to talk to him...

And we exchanged numbers coz he needed to paynow me for the grab ride. 

It was quite surreal, I haven't had such an enjoyable convo with anyone for a very long time. 

Can't help but wonder, if this is a sign from fate or a powerful force of attraction.

Seeing B walk past me signifying he is just a passerby and its time to move on. 

Meeting a stranger who I had an enjoyable convo, signifying when one door closes, another opens. 

That's life, isn't it? 

Don't give up on love

The past week hasn't been the most easy for me.

I single-handedly peeled off the bandaid that I spent 3 months pasting and trying to heal.

But I want to remember today.

The day I cried for 5 hours straight, for that ex who disrespected me and played me.

For the 傻瓜who still has some feelings for him. 

For us, HD and me and our forever lost friendship. 

I wouldn't give up on love. (& friendship)

I am not grateful for the pain, but I am grateful for the memories. 

Goodbye. 

Drunk on life

Lychee Mojito, Wed thoughts:
Maybe, everybody's a bit screwed up.
But, they are still wonderful pple in their own ways.

Humans are shades of grey, never clearly black & white.

Stay drunk, stay lit and be wonderfully you.

Never settle.

Happy Valentines' Day 2018

Spent V'day 2018 with this 2.
No drama, just positive vibes (& some psychoanalysis hahaha)
The way that JL knows me so well, I think even better than myself, it surprises me.

'Safe', I think that's the word to describe how i feel around them.
It's nice, to have friends that I feel safe around.

JL said the thing I am most afraid of is aging, and I think that's true.
That's why, I keep thinking I am running out of time.
But, this mentality is making me live in the future, instead of now.

What do you want now?
That's the question I should be really asking myself.

Happy Valentines' Day.

时间都去哪儿了

Wow... Time is like a rocket.
It's already Feb of 2018, 1 month just flew by like that.

I was busy with work the past month, for an upcoming event next weekend.
Which means I'll be working 7 days the coming week.
A bit anxious about the turnout, hopefully the crowd would be decent and the event would go well.

Besides that, I would say my life has been peaceful so far and I am kinda enjoying the peace.
Met Shihan, Kovan, Joyce, HM, Cheryl and Rach at Timbre last Fri night,
was my first time to Timbre and their duck pizza was so good!
We went to the Artshouse branch and their live band was surprisingly good, I prefer it to KPO.

It was a fun evening, meant to be a farewell for HM and Cheryl, as both are leaving HDB.
HDB... will never be the same again, as everyone slowly departs.
To me, it's a place that will forever be imprinted in my memories.
It was the place that let me meet lao ban and made some very good friends... and met B.
Yet, it was also the place that gave me so much pain and hurt.

I've somehow already moved on.
But, when I was uploading our photos/videos into my hard disk, I can't help but wonder... how could things go so wrong so fast?
What I've learnt, is that nothing is permanent and a lot of times, we only have that moment.
I've learnt to accept it but it's still something that I can't understand.

Maybe there's no need to either.
Was talking to Shihan last Fri, gosh I miss talking to him haha
He used to be like my philosophy teacher lol
Anw, he said that we are actually nothing in this huge world, at the end of the day.
Our family and maybe selected friends may rmb us, but besides that, we are just a tiny speck and won't even ruffle the dust of the earth as it continues on when we pass on.
If lucky, 90-100 years old? If not, just a short 70 - 80.

Everyone wants to feel impt and we are, but actually it's only to ourselves.
Made me wonder, if so, why are our egos so big?
Maybe it's only at certain moments of realisations, that we are aware our state of un-importance in the grand scheme of things.
And then after which, we go back to our self-absorbed ways.

I signed up for a women's gym recently.
Been going to exercise, hoping to make myself better and healthier for this year.
There's so many things I want to do - lose weight & become more toned, remove my braces, do PS....
It's a lot of money, but I'm also gonna learn how to be better at managing my finances this year.

Lessons in Love

2016

D.T

Love was a game and the thrill lies in the chase. 

It was a cat and mouse game, he was the predator and I was the prey.

Overnight phone calls, constant texts, triangulation... 

Love bombing and jealousy, that was all there was to it. 

E

 If you like him, you wouldn't mind him getting close to you. 

But you physically shied away, that's your body telling you, you don't like him.

H.D

再靠近一点点，就让你牵手

再勇敢一点点，我就跟你走

你还等什么，时间已经不多

再下去只好只做朋友。

谢谢有你的岁月, 永远的朋友。

2017

JJ

Ghosting is a thing in modern dating.
Get use to it.

Captain

What translates online may not manifest offline.
And sometimes, you only get that 1 chance.

Y.L

Sparks happen in a moment and sometimes it never comes.

Getting together, takes 2 hands to clap. 

Passivity? No longer works as there's plenty of fish in the sea.
Nevertheless, thank you for the 6 years. 

G.G

Love at first sight? 

You were a breath of fresh air that got lost in the wind.

Too fast, too soon. 

It really takes time, to know someone. 

GBB

The one I need, and yet the one I wasn't ready for. 

With love, timing is everything.

最后，只留下我在原地傻笑。

B

你可知道对我做过什么最残忍？

就是你狠狠把我一夜之间变成了大人

奋不顾身的天真

瞬间化成一路走来的伤痕

我怀念我的笨

The one I wanted.

Yet, love is just a moment of folly. 

Communication, respect and compromise are the keys to unlock forever. 

To be continued...

xoxo
Zy

When you'll rather laugh on a bicycle than cry in a Mercedes

I used to watch 非诚勿扰 a lot.

It's essentially a China Matchmaking show, and there's one famous sentence made by a female participant:

我宁愿坐在宝马里哭，不愿坐在自行车上笑

But today, I went on a date that made me realise, I'll rather laugh on a bike than cry in a Mercedes.
So, long story short, my past came to haunt me.
Last week, I received a call from It's Just Lunch, a local matchmaking agency.
This is the agency that I went for profiling 1.5 yrs back, when val signed me up on a whim lol.
I didn't sign their package after 2 hrs of grilling, however, apparently they kept my profile.
So this 'Relationship Consultant' called me and said there's a match and asked me if i'm willing to go on a date.
I was pretty hesitant since I just ended a RS.
But, well, the opportunity came so i was thinking why not.

The guy is called JB.
And his profile sent by the consultant was like to the skies LOL
He is super rich for one (which was true after today's date)
And he goes French Alps to skii yearly
Went UK to study for 4 years (true too).

I was so anxious to meet him coz I was quite scared there would be no convo topics.
But, guess my worries were unfounded.
He is a PSC scholar, smart and well educated... rich too and drives his own car.
But, one sad thing is... I would say he is not much of a gentleman with EQ lol
During the meal, he snarked in a comment - ohh you can be jealous of me.
And that got me quite taken aback, why would i be jealous of you? lol

At the end of the date, he originally wanted to send me back
That was a nice gesture.
But once i said where i stay, he immediately went - ohh I'm sorry I would love to send you back but I need to work.
Hmm... I'll take it as a rejection haha
It's good too, clearly we 2 are not compatible.

But it made me realise, someone so perfect on paper, may not be a good match in real life.
I'm actually quite happy, almost 2 years of mindless dating... I'm definitely much clearer of what I'm looking for in a guy.

Right now, I just wanna take a break as a single (and happy) lady.
And he will come, it's just a matter of time.

Off to ride my bike :p hahaha!

Full Circle

I met GBB for dinner last night.
And he told me he was happily attached, to the girl he met on the dating app after me.
Not that I was surprised and I am very happy for him.

On hindsight, I realised I did the right thing.
I knowingly chose B, because I knew I needed to experience it or else I will regret.
But at the end of the day, I was most comfortable with who I needed, instead of who I wanted.

For the first time since the break up, my heart is full.

Thank you, for being a part of my 2017, and starting my 2018 right.